the x-files..mantan mantan (tersayang)

a week full of temptation and so much fun :D & yes still i enjoy the game that continue playing :P
a long time ago after second broke up with the same (mantan) i prayed to God that i don't want to see him again not until i have a new bf. silly prayers isn't?
and then time brought me met a new guy that so nice, and we started to go dated and when finally he asked to be my bf, i feel i will make a bad decission if i stay with him. i didn't feel i miss him when he's not around, i feel we just stays as a friend. and as i predict before he will not waiting for long to find a new girl, but we still a good friend, we keep in touch and he played a good host when i visited him. isn't great? and then my notte mind curious to find out if i still in his heart or not, then i got conclusion he's move on and continue life. i'll be happy if he's happy specially when he's found out someone that could cherish him and love him as he want to be.
the other mantan..i have a short crush with more than one guy but now i don't feel it relevant to discuss it because we just go on dated and decide we can't move on to another level.
finally i met a new and old guy, i've known him before, and we try to go on date but until now we didn't go for a date :P
something that makes me dare to dream again, i miss him if he's not around, and i feel something the last time we meet before he's leaving..something that i can't described it (not yet)
sometimes i feel unsure but i never let my doubt wraped me, everytime i feel that way, i prefer to think positively. but temptation comes when we less expect it :P one day he said he feels unsure (ragu) because of that i realized i walk to fast and i leave him behind. he's a kind of person who starts falling in love in a slow way! and i'm a big believer that love at first sight can be happen!
and i think i meet someone that knocks me off. i finally found someone that i want to hug and be besides him each day. i try not to gave him attention because i don't want to start falling to him until i can't hide anymore that the feeling is going strong.

cinta itu seperti permainan menakutkan di pekan raya--sewaktu di dalamnya kau ingin keluar, dan ketika di luar kau ingin segera masuk kembali.
"rasanya amat menyenangkan bisa bersama seseorang yang membuatku tertarik tapi di sisi lain aku takut kau akan membuatku patah hati" (dikutip dari buku the ex-files mantan-mantan tersayang oleh Jane moore)

great july, great sale, travel til you drop

not just sale, big discount held in july, since july is a summer, for most of the people living on earth, july is a love month, when love starts on summer and ended in winter? i hope not..not at all. remember positive thinking, you can be what ever you wanna be.
last july, i went traveling (which is one of my hobbies) with cousins and a friend of mine. jakarta tour, bogor, bandung tour and at the end of july i went to bogor again.

...anything could happen...

What makes you feel comfort aja, it's fine with me honey. Trying to think positive in everything I do, I just enjoy the moment.
I don't know the future but I know, God will not give me anything I couldn't handle it. Gue rasa Tuhan membentuk gue dengan caranya, yang in time I will know it, dengan masalah-masalah yang gue temui, dengan pilihan-pilihan yang disediakan.
So, if you are the one, that I will choose, I believe we could work it out.
You are so vulnerable, so that's why I can't ask more and more. It's enough to be thankfull for everything happens in my life.
To where you are..I'm everything I am because you love me.
For made me woke up earlier, for calling me at 2 AM or 5 AM in the morning, for holding my hands in your arms, for kissing me and hugging me. For making me buying a new dress to attend some parties, for made me shampoo my hair everyday so you can sniff at, and for made me waiting your sms and calls, for every words 'sayang' that comes out from your lips, I cherish everything you gave to me.

Hold on one more day..

aaaahhh..

satu hari lagi

bertahan

berpikir positif

membayangkan yang indah aja

full of love

i just want one more day dan seperti hari ini

my cell start beeping and I know someone out there miss me

aaah...

one more day

I wanna feel like this

forever....

Reason to Like a Woman

A friend of mine forward a beautiful words with a title Reason to like a Woman.
It begins from...
U CAN FEEL HER CARE IN FORM OF SISTER
U CAN FEEL HER WARMTH IN FORM OF A FRIEND
U CAN FEEL HER PASSION IN FORM OF A BELOVED
U CAN FEEL HER DEDICATION IN FORM OF A WIFE
U CAN FEEL HER DIVINITY IN FORM OF A MOTHER
U CAN FEEL HER BLESSINGS IN FORM OF GRANDMOTHER
yet she is so tough too, her heart is so tender, so NAUGHTY, so sharing, so melodius.

I'm a woman and today I feel blessed because I'm a woman, I think I'm so lucky too ! plus knowing that God still loves me even when I'm not tough, tender and so Naughty.

..what would i do without you?..

"when you falling in love with your best friend.. "

Here with some comments I quote from indiatimes.com
My best friend would know me very well. She would know when I feel the need to be left alone and when I need her warmth and company.Similarly I would know her habits and ways of life.. the best part is that we both would know each other as a person very well.. so we won't have to face nasty surprises.In my opinion, a deep bond of friendship is the best foundation for the future.

"I married my best friend. We were best of friends for more than a year, when we asked the question 'Why not'. We hit it out great, understood each other and liked one another very very much. There was no reason to seek another partner, when I already knew Ms Perfect. We married not because we were the best of friends or believed that best friends should get married, but because it made sense to us. I don't advise others either way - just do what you feel is right."

"Hmmm... I wouldn't mind marrying my best friend. If we can be best friends, we'd be confident about getting along as marital partners too. And at the end of the day, marriage is about understanding, loving and living, right?" -

---
so why must be different between relationship and friendship? for me if the relationship is over it's okay because having him as a friend would be enough..i believe we could work it out coz in every relations starts from a friend, when love is run out, what is the bind that keep the relations? it is a FRIENDSHIP. after being a friend for so long and involved with someone more than twice relationship there's nothing wrong to falling in love with your best friend. after all if life is a road and we have to go through some intersections, when you turn out your face, he's there..admiring you, supports you, and gives his best time to you.

to a special friend..

Any girl who standing besides you, she must be very proud of you, if she's not, don't be sad, cause there's nothing wrong with you. Let me tell about you: You are sweet and caring, a good companion, you have a good heart & attitude, you are smart and tender, you are genuine, and you are handsome.
So if she's not proud to be with you, remember this..just forget that girl, one day she will come after you and said : she regret she dumped you, and that time you have a happy life with someone that realized how vulnerable you are.

Drowning..

somebody told me..i have to let u know
that u still in my heart
nobody knows what I'm going thru..
why you leave me hanging..
don't keep me hanging
I'm running in the empty road
and you are not there
what happen to the promise we have made?
somebody tell me what I've should do
I'm drowning in my misery

SPLASH JULY

Showing Jakarta, Bogor and spent one night at Bandung, July 2nd till July 5th 2006.

Hurrraaaaaayyyyy...I'm on vacation..

So this is love?

Dia katakan, punya pacar itu 'masalah' dan aku bilang tidak punya pacar juga masalah. As long as we lived there always been a trouble and problems to solved.
Last night I keep repeating what he said..the things that matters to me, important thing, something that nowdays people think it doesn't matters anymore. I hate to accept that he agreed with most of the people living in this world. But what can I do? if he thinks that way and keep asking that..he might be soon loosing me.
So this is love? when you love someone deeply and honestly? but for one reason you can't compromised anymore. It's not done yet..

U are my hopes & doubts

a little bit each day, everytime the doubts starting to control my emotions, i said a little prayer.
hoping that this hopes not ended hopelessly.
sometimes i was so sure with this feeling and sometimes i got weak when i see the future.
Oh..angel would you please lend me a wing so i could feel a little believe in my soul?
give me your wings so i could back to the future to see that this way is the right path for me?
i want a long lasting happiness..
but what's the meaning of happiness?

• if my family happy, then i can say i have a happy life?
• if i get the dreaming job?
• if i have much money to spend?
• if i have a handsome and loyal husband?
• if i have a beautiful house?
• if i have my own business?
• if i enjoy the time i spent with family and friends?

or maybe when i have a good health and job and still have a money in purse to spend?

Jatuh Cinta ternyata...

jatuh cinta?

hmm..kuncinya manajemen diri. "if you know when to reach and when to be far from love you will be safe."
people breaking up and then falling in love again, it's too ordinary to this world. sometimes you miss with the feeling being in love to somebody and sometimes you feel a bit tired loving someone. specially when someone that you care sometimes gives you a wrong impression or a mixed hint. sometimes you start clueless but sometimes in your heart you feel so sure with his love. one thing that people in love sometimes forgot, they expect more than they can ask for.
so why people get blue? when the reality doesn't match with their expectation!

The More I know You..The more I L U

I love you honey, I never thought I could write this title on my own blog. I thought I never able to say this words again. But I know now the meaning of it, to love is to give your time, thought and action and when love decide to go you can't do anything unless saying good bye to those memories.
Everytime I feel unsure or when my heart doubted it..I decide not to think about and stop analyzing. Because I learn if I keep thinking this not going well it will ended soon, so now I keep my positive mind hoping this time I can spend the rest of my life with him. It's to early? I don't know but I have a little faith he will keep his words.
So..the days has turn into a new month..and I'm proud to say the more I know him the more I love him. I noticed he has a good sense of humour (iseng bin usil) he likes to teased me and he is sensitive, and whenever he's part from me, I miss him.

..apa maumu?

Lalu mau apa lagi? stop dulu kali yak? setelah banyak tenaga dan waktu tercurah hanya dan untuk dia. Saatnya habiskan waktu untuk teman, makanan dan buku romantis.
I wanna dream and sleep all day...
kelihatannya gue terlalu semangat, saatnya nyante aja bleh..enjoy your time!
ke salon, ke rental novel..trus matikan ponsel hmmm sounds great

unfinish project (life)

"hati-hatilah dengan angan-anganmu, karena angan-anganmu akan menjadi kenyataan"..
It's true as long as we live we have to be ready to finish one project to another project.
Sometimes the project is finished right on time but sometimes we need more time and effort to finish an easy project.
every years perhaps we make a list like what we want to achieve and what we want to fix it, and after sometime when we finally did it, then we start to make another list. That's life..
life is a simple if we think that way, my imagination is having a good job and then owned business, of course family with 2 or 3 kids with husband adore n love me so much and a cozy house. but maybe after i achieved that, i start to make another wish..

...i'm falling for you..

This title just comes up when the girl next to me start to sing a song from Korean female artist, and part of the lyrics is I’m falling for you…
I wanna fall n fall with the same person each day, I don’t want this feeling ended not until the last day of my life. Even if his head becoming bald..I still fall for him. That’s my wish and I learn most of our wish is becoming our fate when we intend to be.
So I hope this feeling growing just like a nail each day, little by little but sure and I hope he stay falling for me till the last breath of my life :D
ADN

..si helm merah..

(cerita di bawah ini fiktif belaka, bila ada kemiripan dengan orang, tempat dan waktu bukan karena unsur kesengajaan)

Cerita ini tentang seorang lelaki berhelm merah, yang harus kuakui telah mengisi relung hatiku dengan sejumput harapan. Bahwa hidupku tidak akan sama lagi tanpa kehadiran dia.

“Halo Tika apa kabar? Gue Jonathan, gue dapat nomor elo dari Fredi”
Tika membalas : “Masih donk, elo kan yang dulu suka gigitin plastik :D gue baik”
Keesokan harinya, Jonathan menelepon dari kantor akhirnya empat hari setelah sms pertama Jon. Mereka pergi berkencan.
Sepuluh tahun yang lalu gue pertama kali mengenal Jon, seorang cowo yang cuek, dan apa yah? ngga banyak yang bisa diingat, karena tidak ada kesan yang mendalam. Hanya seorang cowo yang kebetulan kakak kelas gue. Kebetulan juga teman-teman gue juga teman-teman Jon.
Setelah kencan pertama, dilanjut dengan sms, telpon-telponan dan kemudian kencan kedua.
Nomor 59 tertera di layar ponsel Tika, loh koq dia telpon lagi, barusan dia telpon gue kan.
”Eh, Tika sori tadi gue lupa tanya, elo mau ngga kalo diajak nonton”
” Mau dong, kapan?” ”Yah kapan-kapan huehehe, ntar dikabarin lagi ya”
Sabtu malam..
(Tika): Mo keluar malas, koq Jon ngga sms gue yah.
Ngga lama, sms dari nomor 02168.. ”enak yang lagi resepsi, lagi makan enak ya”
Gue bales reply ”ngga jadi, cuma ke rumahnya aja, lagi dimana Jon?”
”Gue lagi di rumah saudara, selametan rumah baru”
”ngomong-ngomong enaknya kapan yah nonton?’
“Besok gue free”
“oke besok, deal?”
Minggu siang..
My second dating with a red helmet guy
Hmm it’s fun..he’s so nice and sweet. He’s a gentleman!
Does he know that I start to thinking about him, does he know that sometimes I’m afraid with my own feeling? I was not prepared enough to fall deeper.
I’m not brave enough to show my feeling.
(to be continue)

..Apakah ini yang dinamakan 'euphoria'?

euphoria=perasaan senang dan bahagia rohani dan jasmani

I wanna feel like this everyday but without unsure feeling.
I wanna feel somebody loves me harder than me,
everytime I turn my face I can see the person that I love,
when I'm gone somebody will be missing me badly,
when I get weak someone will give me a full support,
I want everyday my cell phone beeping with words, what r u doing? have a nice working day,
I like to have a cup of tea and thinking what he's doing right now,
when the weekend comes, somebody asking me going out for a walk or dinner,
a person who looks forward to spend his time with me,
someone that enjoy my companion,
Someone that seeing me in a special way.
above all..seseorang yang mau dan bersedia memperjuangkanku.

No need to hurry

menjadi manusia penyabar bukan hal yang mudah. kalau saja aku punya bola kristal yang bisa menunjukkan hidupku nanti akan seperti apa, mungkin lebih mudah?
aku tidak mempunyai bola 'magic' kristal seperti peramal-peramal itu, tapi aku punya sahabat-sahabat, kata hati dan iman yang membimbingku ketika aku merasa bimbang diantara dua pilihan, ketika hidup membuatku harus menunggu dan ketika semua impian terpampang di depan mata.
hendak kemana aku melangkah?
akankah seindah rembulan di bulan purnama?
bisakah aku mempercayai sekali lagi?
mampukah aku bertahan?
bersediakah dia menerima aku apa adanya?
kapankah waktu membawaku pada hanya satu pilihan?
i don't need to be hurry, and i believe in that.

...HUMAN being, Flash and Blood..

Menurut email yang gue baca kemaren, untuk menghindarkan dari rasa sakit (patah hati) yang dalam, kita (girls) jangan pernah deh berpikiran bahwa cowo kita sekarang adalah sosok pribadi yang sangat istimewa (duughhh namanya juga teman ‘spesial’) gimana seh?! Camkan dalam hati dan pikiran, bahwa dia hanya seorang ‘biasa’ yang tak lepas dari kekhilafan dan kesalahan.

Hmm..bener juga yah, saat kita jatuh cinta emang mimpinya yang indah-indah saja, ya..iya lah mana ada yang mau mimpi pahit (gggrrrrr). Semuanya menyenangkan, penuh dengan romance yang mengasyikkan dan berpikiran he’s the one that send from up above.

Nah..ketika sebuah hubungan turn “sour” apalagi ketauan kalo ternyata cowo kita mendua, sakiiit rasanya, diduain gitu lhoh. Ada rasa ngga terima karena ngga siap kalo ditinggalin. Rasanya seperti dihempas dari ketinggian menara dan terjun bebas tanpa persiapan? karena mimpi-mimpi yang kelewat tinggi? karena berpikiran seorang yang istimewa di mata kita ngga mungkin menyakiti kita?

So..we just a human being, flash and blood. Now you are in my heart and I hope forever it stays but gue bisa saja menyakitimu, membuatmu kecewa, marah karena gue juga manusia biasa. I love you honey..sorry beraninya lewat blog..hehhehe..I need time, okay…