i gave him a smile..

sunday morning

a very very sweet smile..
he didn't prepare to see me smiling to him, so he's a bit unsure, but anyway he smiling with me too, with his shy smile.
He likes to wear black t-shirt. I think he never noticed that once in the past I got chrush on him (huahahaha) now I'm not available anymore..really?!
my suitor far..far more better than him, what makes him so special? because he loves me.

..erase & rewind

(late at monday night) beeping :
mg lalu kita s4 punya mslh kan? eh skrg back on the right track. trus ntar ya depends on ur decission.
what do you do if someone asking like this?
rasanya seperti udah di hapus dalam memory pikiran & hati tapi ketika baru melangkah 3 atau empat ayunan..eh di tarik kembali.
I wanna say yes but I need time untuk menyakinkan kalo ini yang aku mau, dan juga melihat kesungguhan hatinya. Semoga he doesn't give up yet with me...
My dear Sis told me if I got principle I will not confussed, then my buddy ask what I feel about this guy? hmm I like him that's true, so he said then go lah..
but I listen to my heart..I wait till I ready..and I hope I will pick up the right hint.
I hope and praying..

L..O..V..I..N..G

"loving is not forgetting but how you forgive it, loving is not hearing but to listen, loving is not letting it go but holding on"

some advantages of being single

1. You are independent. Basically you can do what you want when you want. You don't have to wait, you don't have to ask, you can just go.
2. You have more time When you're single; you don't have to sit around doing nothing. Want to go to the gym? Want to join the hiking club? Play an instrument? How about watch your favorite video for 10th time? Want to take a course? Learn a new hobby? Who's stopping you?
3. You don't have to deal with another's personal habits. You can sleep without listening to someone's snoring and hog all the blankets all the time and nobody cares. You don't have to pick up after anyone but yourself. And you don't even have to pick up after yourself if you don't want to. Give your patience a well-deserved break.
4. You can be spontaneous Be daring! Do what you want when you want to and who cares if you don't get to dinner until midnight? Do something out of the ordinary, without having to get permission first or calling ahead. This is freedom!
5. You can focus on your career. You can channel your energy into your work. Without a relationship, you have a lot more time. Put in those extra hours and impress your boss, or take on new projects.
6. You are your own boss. Relationships need compromise and you don't always get your own way. Both people in a relationship have to give something up for the greater good of the relationship. Do what you want and treat yourself more. Selfishness is good for the soul (in small doses).
Don't stress! That special someone is out there and you can and will find them. It just takes time.In the meantime, enjoy being single. In fact, I believe that if you can't be happy being single, you will never be happy with your soulmate! Kind of like rich and poor.
There are lots of poor people who are happy and lots that are unhappy. Same with rich people -- lots are happy and lots are unhappy. Now what do you think would happen if we took a poor who was unhappy, and gave them lots of money?You guessed it! They would probably be happy for a short time, but it wouldn't last and eventually they would be just as unhappy as they were.Ever wonder why that is? Being happy comes from inside of you not outside.
OK, you are single -- enjoy yourself and that special person will come along before you know it!
http://www.bigdaddybruce.com

Kau pikir kaulah segalanya??

selasa, 21 Maret
06:12 WIB
sms dari +316262.."Aku ngga bisa tidur nih kepikiran kamu terus. Sebenarnya aq ngga mau nyakitin kamu, tapi aku ngga tau bagaimana caranya supaya tidak menyakiti kamu. Bingung kan?”

12:15 WIB
To : andw..@...
Subject : ngga ngerti
Dear Andw,
Gue ngga ngerti apa yang dimaksud dengan ngga mau nyakitin tapi ngga tau bagaimana caranya supaya tidak menyakiti kamu. Kata-kata yang klise! I still have a picture of you in my mind but you are right when you say “aku tidak mau mempertaruhkan hidupku dan membuat kesalahan yang ke dua kali. Gimana mau serius kalau hanya mengenal kamu di permukaan saja, you are free to move on kalau kamu pikir kamu menyukai orang itu dan lebih baik dari aku.” Those words hit me but what can I say.. the choice is made, I will go on my way dan menutup suatu episode dari cerita cintaku. I feel glad because you had telling me what’s inside your heart. As you said, tidak ada gunanya menunggu sesuatu yang tidak pasti. Lewat email ini saya mau bilang “if you are not ready to be hurt then you are not ready to give love”. Ngga usah dipikirin apa yang sudah lewat, toh mentari tetap bersinar, musim berlalu, ada saatnya cinta bertumbuh, mati dan bertumbuh. Kisah kita telah usai.
12:30 WIB message to andw..@... remove from draft to recycle bin.

Sebenarnya..

Sebenarnya nama kamu sudah terdelete mas..
Kalau kamu online terus aku sign out itu karena kebetulan, gimana aku tau kamu online, ID kamu sudah di delete. Nyesel? sampai hari ini engga, abiz aku cape baca kalimat-kalimat tersurat kamu. Diberi harapan kemudian di hempaskan lagi. Bahkan nomormu sudah aku delete, dugh kalo yang satu ini kecelakaan ga bermaksud menghapus semuanya, tadinya cuma satu nomor. Itu aja sih pengakuanku yah kalo ada sumur di ladang boleh kita berjumpa lagi.....maksudnya?! yaah kalo kamu menghubungi atau IM-in aku sebisa mungkin aku jawab.
Ketika aku bilang cukup..kamu bingung sendiri kan? iih aku menikmati sekali permainan ini.
Until then..

...Pakai sepatumu, pasang senyummu...

Maju terus pantang mundur..gunakan waktu seefisien dan seefektif mungkin, when you are in dead relationship just move-on, pakai sepatumu-pasang senyummu ayo cari lagi..
Mereka tidak akan peduli how you achieve something, hanya melihat hasil akhir, yang peduli terus siapa? yah kita sendiri, so jangan breakable donk. Walau pahit, hadapi dengan lapang dada..iih suseh yah berlapang dada. Walau suseh tapi bukan ga mungkin kan?

tu wa..ga pat..buang sakit hatimu nanti kami jenguk pasanglah senyummu pakailah sepatumu ayo terus maju cari pacar baru..ini kata-kata koq ngga nyambung!

kubaca lagi emailmu

Kenapa pertanyaan yang kelihatannya sederhana menjadi susah dijawab? apa karena gue bingung, ga pasti dan ga tau mesti menjawab apa? buat gue untuk menjawab pertanyaan yang mudah ini seperti membongkar kembali kotak tua. Hasilnya?
unbelievable..gue masih punya email dari dia dari tahun 2003. Hah? trus beberapa pertanyaan-pertanyaan singkat dia yang ngga gue jawab. Ketika gue bongkar lagi outlook express gue..astaga..dia masih memforward ke alamat email gue yang sudah lama sekali ngga pernah gue pakai. Ada saatnya dia seperti my morning call, kemudian waktu mengubahnya menjadi orang yang susah ditemui sampai gue tau kalo dia sudah menghapus nomor gue dari phone book-nya dan gue malakukan hal yang sama. Sekarang dia datang dan bertanya nomor hp gue.
Kenapa cerita ini jadi panjang gini yah..dan cukup complicated..
Apa yah sekarang ini waktu yang tepat?

Bertahan Untuk Cinta (ehmm ehmm)

terbang aku ke angkasa biru
terbius aku oleh pesona syurgawi
terlepas aku dan biarkan melayang indah
oleh pesona pancaran dirimu yang memikat lembut jiwaku
kuingin pastikan ini bukan sekedar mimpi
tetapi kalaupun ini mimpi biarkan ku terlena olehnya
karena ini merupakan mimpi terindah dalam hidupku
yang membuatku damai dan tentram olehnya
hadirmu memberi jiwa yang damai untukku
bagaikan singgasana emas di istana raja
layaknya permadani dunia disemenanjung katulistiwa
itulah pesona dirimu merasuk kalbu
ingin kumiliki dirimu dalam hati selamanya
bukan karena egois tapi karena aku mencintainya
mencintai sesuatu yang indah sebagai karunia Illahi
aku akan bertahan untuk cinta bukan untuk dirinya
dialah sesuatu yang tlah kutemukan dalam langkahku
semoga pesonanya akan slalu mengiringi perjalananku
oh....Peguasa alam takjub aku melihat karya-Mu
semoga restu-Mu slalu mengiringi langkah perjalananku

Created by

Richardo Steven B.

Timing is Everything (I refused to give up)

Those words seems perfect to describe my life recently. Started when I have a little discussion with Bo, then we ended in a conclusion..yep we believe in "timing". Let's say I really want to move to another job and company and I have applied for more than 10 companies, and attended some interview but in some reasons the companies still not hiring me. Is it timing isn't? I go for interview and I was so full of confidence but I'm not yet having the job. I believe the time was not right. But if I try and try again I believe I will have a new job as I want it but it takes time to be there.

The problem is some are giving up some are refused to give up.
Not in job matters in relationship I believe timing is everything, no matter how hard I keep the relations but if the other person in that time not considering as important as I am it won't worked. So it is right, timing is everything!

and honey do you think now is the right time for us ? I hope so because the feeling is still there...

Dia lagi..

This is my journal, this is my life, this is about Dia..
Dia yang pernah mengisi hatiku
Dia yang pernah membuatku kecewa
Dia yang pernah membuatku marah dan kesal
Dia yang pernah membawa senyum di wajahku
Dia yang pernah menyita pikiranku
dan terkadang semuanya kembali di suatu waktu..apakah ini waktu yang tepat?
Timing is everything..

Don't sway..I need you to stay

..aku menunggu sampai kau mau !

I know that deep in your heart the feeling for me is still there. I know that you still thinking over and over and wishing that we haven't a big difference. But my Dear..the things is only hard when you just thinking it and never have a courage to work it out. I'd like to conviced you when you thought it will be a big problems sometimes is only a small problems.
No worries no worries because life is about to choose..
I know you try to forgot me but you still don't succeed, I know you try to make a distance but you failed. Anyway many things can be happen during this year, maybe you will meet another attractive girl and maybe I am the one who have the key to unlock your heart.
Until then..I'm standing here with my words that I don't want to change anything in you and whenever you need a support I will give you the strength, and whenever you feel sad, I will make you to smile again, and whenever you feel like you are confused I will show you the way !

Kenapa punya BLOG?

"Gue heran aja sama orang yang rajin nulis Blog, kalau gue sih senang baca blog orang" itu kata teman lama gue yang sekarang lagi di negeri orang, nun jauh di benua Arab dengan profesi sebagai istri dan ibu dari dua bidadari.
Ada berbagai alasan kenapa orang suka nulis blog, yang pertama, kebutuhan untuk mencurahkan uneg-uneg, sebagai manusiakan lumrah banget ngerasa kesal, benci, seneng, nah ada orang yang menumpahkan uneg-uneg ke pasangan, teman, sahabat. Ada juga yang nulis itu di jurnal or diary. Blog kan pengganti jurnal/diary yang waktu jaman belum semaju sekarang kita tulisnya di buku yang tebal. (I still have 3 diary peninggalan jaman SMU & kuliah)
Yang kedua, bikin blog supaya orang melihat, dengan tulis di web, orang dari antah berantah akan lihat tulisan kita dan mungkin akan menuliskan beberapa comment.
Yang ketiga, nulis di blog memang hobi, mungkin memang hobi menulis? sama aja dengan orang yang punya hobi nonton film, kalau ditanya kenapa? yah pasti jawabnya hobi sih..
Yang keempat, punya kesempatan...walau orang itu hobi nulis tapi ga punya komputer, dan koneksi internet yah ga nulis di blog. Yang kelima, ga pengen dipandang ga gaul..hariiii giniii..semuanya kalo bisa pakai digital, masa ga punya Blog..memanfaatkan teknologi donk !!
mungkin untuk hal yang terakhir, banyak yang ga setuju dengan gue.

After all blog mungkin cuma temporer..ntar kalo ada teknologi baru blog ini tinggal HISTORY.

self portrait & on graduation day

Mountain Range..Pesona Alam--Bagedor

Sabtu lalu gue jalan-jalan ke Puncak, dan seneng banget bisa foto-foto di sana. Pemandangannya indah, tempatnya juga bersih. So if you want to go camping but don't want get wet and dirty, you could go to "Bagedor" Cisarua Puncak, located near from Taman Safari Cisarua this place I recommended if you want to spend your weekend with out door activities.
Besides that accross from Bagedor there are some villa in the area named Pesona Alam, but remember don't try asking to villager about Bagedor coz it useless no body know it so better asking where is Pesona Alam Villa, it's more famous. If you find that villa you will find Bagedor.

........Best Friend...

Last Tuesday I called my friend, and sad to find out she just had misscarried. She was so happy heared my news, I told her that I just have my graduation day.

Last year I have a big big lesson, what does a friend means? then how to maintain the ralationship. So I end-up with conclusion this relations sometimes bring you so much happines but sometimes bring you a problem. Life is a bunch of problems?

By the way, I have known Pinta since my college time, there were time when we so close, after we graduted and have a job we still seeing each other, then maybe because of her work, I remember she was so busy then she stop meet us, I have another friend whose name is Linda. For me Linda is like a sista...with her, I can throw my spirit of competition, so we put our relations first.

Well anyway our friendship nowdays going strong because we have through the years and problems, and this time she needs our support and prayer.

I think that's what friends are for.......for good times and bad times.

Although sometimes we fight and againts to each other but the ability to forgive and forget are the medicine to cure the hurted and dissapointed.

Friends Forever !!

Wednesday, 25 09:00 WIB

Di bus tadi pagi dalam perjalanan ke kantor dari rumah, gue berpikir untuk "absent" dari kantor. Cape banget man!! semalam keluar kantor jam 6 sore hujan terus hampir satu jam gue nungu bus ke rumah udah mau give up, last minute bus mayasari itu datang juga..akhirnya jam 8 malam gue sampai dengan selamat di rumah.

Terus ini pagi mau bangun rasanya maleeeeessss walhasil gue kesiangan, jam 6.30 baru keluar dari rumah..macet..cet untuk mencapai halte. Duduk di halte nunggu bus, sambil nyanyi berdoa menghilangkan kebete-an karena bus mayasari jurusan Depok ga muncul muncul. Srrrrrtttt tiba-tiba ada cewe maniz turun dari metromini looooh itu kan si Yuni..ternyata dia senyum ama bapak yang duduk di sebelah gue, terus dia nyadar kalo gue disitu. Ngobrol bentar terus bus dia datang duluan. Dari pembicaraan yang singkat gue tahu rumahnya di Kav. DKI...OOOo..

I was or still admiring his brother but never had a courage to..or at least trying to find information about her bro..wuaaaahhhh..

Many times our path cross, twice I remember but the last time I only shake his hand and smiling..I lost my bravery !! so until one day I decide to put her bro on black box, stop admiring him.

Pas dah dekat kantor gue baru inget hari ini gue beli kamera yang akan diantar siang nanti. Waaaah duitnya juga gue titip di kantor. Yahhh hilang nih bonus bulan ini, busyeeet jam brapa gue sampe kantor?? almost 9. Then when I arrive at office Ratih said she had put my presents card on the machine..it means absent gue ga merah.

Wooooooooo another surprise from God !!!

Thanks Father..

kadangkala hidup mengharuskanmu menangis...

Kadangkala hidup mengharuskanmu menangis tanpa sebab. Kau merasa sudah berbuat baik dan benar, tetapi masih banyak kritikan yang dialamatkan kepadamu. Kau mengira keputusan yang kau ambil sudah tepat, ternyata perkiraanmu keliru. Jangan putus asa! Bangkitlah!

Matahari tanpa sinar tidak layak di sebut matahari.Demikian juga dengan dirimu. Kau adalah matahari yang seharusnya memancarkan sinar, sekalipun mendung kelabu menutupi pandangan orang untuk melihat keindahan cahayamu. Anakku yang terkasih Aku sering melihat mu marah ketika kau melihat orang lain berhasil.
Untuk apa kau menginginkan keberhasilan orang lain?
Bukankah Aku telah menyediakan suksesmu sendiri?
Kau tidakpernah mengejarnya, jadi kau tidak pernah bisa memilikinya!
Matamu tidak terfokus kepada rancanganKU yang dahsyat atas hidupmu, melainkan tertuju kepada karyaKU yangluar biasa terhadap diri orang lain.
Jadilah seperti air. Selalu mengalir....melewati semua benda, menembus semua sisi dan tanpa batas. Anakku, jangan mau dikalahkan oleh keadaan, tetapi kalahkan keadaan !

Anakku yang terkasih.. Jangan sakit hati ketika kau ditegur, padahal kau merasa sudah mengerjakan yang terbaik. Sakit hati itu hanya akan membuat tidurmu tidak nyenyak dan perasaaanmu tidak nyaman. Buanglah itu dari hatimu dan pikiranmu!
Kuasailah dirimu sedemikian rupa hingga kamu bisa mengatasi perasaan diperlakukan tidak adil, dilecehkan, diremehkan ataupun dikhianati oleh sesamamu.
Bukankah memang untuk itu kau hidup? Untuk melihat kenyataan bahwa didunia ini yang paling mengerti perasaanmu dan menerimadirimu apa adanya hanya AKU? Jauhilah segala bentuk kemarahan, tetapi jangan jauhi AKU! AnakKu, ingatlah hal ini baik - baik. Aku selalu membuka tanganKu lebar- lebar untuk memberimu rasa aman, kapanpun kau membutuhkannya. Aku senantiasa menyiapkan bahu untuk tempat kepalamu bersandar dan mencurahkan tangis. Aku melakukannya karena Aku sungguh - sungguh pedulipadamu !!!

Ayah yang selalu mengasihimu...TUHAN

wisuda..

Dear Bloggers,

Next February 4th I will graduated from faculty of Comunication Science..and today I have a card invitation to attend the graduation ceremonial.
As soon as receiving the invitation card suddenly I remember the moment (2004) I think when a boy who that time have "crush" on me asking me to come to his graduation ceremony. I was so speechless cause he asked me to come to his city which is about 3 hours from where I live ! it's just a memory flash..and I never show up anyway coz I feel so indifferent. I don't think I have helped him during his study..ggggrrr..grrrr...and what should I do when I meet his family?
so this year I open with graduating from my college and then find a new job and hubby maybe?
wish me luck bloggers...

the hero would Be You

tahun baru, new resolutions, karir baru, new hair cut, new boy friend..everything is new?
i love 2005 but 2005 was over..and fourth day in a new year..
let's back to 2005 ...
tahun lalu tiba-tiba someone from the past, actually i never get to know him so well..asking me for second chance. i don't answer him that time but if he push me to answer i'll say there's no second chance, the last time i gave the second chance to a boy it's 3 years ago..waaaah..
then during last month i meet very interesting guy (stranger), the last one living so far..hmmmm
then third days in new year someone (my old buddy) proposed me by ym..hahhh!! asking to marry me, perlu brapa lama pendekatan? hoooooo..
well, i think i get chrush to someone, although i hate this feeling, coz he's not by my side..but i still can't move his face from my mind.