03 January 2005

Ketemuan yang singkat..

terserah kita berdua bagaimana selanjutnya..
i feel okay but what about him? (Friday night at 8.00 PM)
well just see and wait, be patient I get a plenty of time..
because love takes time, they said.
Meantime just tidy up my heart so when it really comes I am well prepare and ready to win..

The First Day

Hari pertama masuk kerja di tahun yang baru and I went early to office! (tidak terlambat lagi Sebenarnya if you think you can then you can... walau kadang rasa males itu lebih besar!
Hari ke-3 di tahun yang baru seperti tahun-tahun yang lalu ada begitu banyak yang mau dicapai, termasuk salah satunya mewujudkan resolusi tahun lalu yang belum tercapai. Mungkin belum terwujud because I said No to the good, so I can say Yes to the best!
The most important, resolusi tahun ini adalah peningkatan kualitas pribadi : menjadi pribadi yang bahagia dan percaya kepada diri sendiri dan semakin rendah hati. Lebih rajin lagi berdoa! Think positive! Belajar mendengarkan kata hati! and the last but not the least .......... Love doesn't hurt all the time. Though the hurting is still there to test me, to help me grow. Don't find love, let love find me! (That's why it's called falling in love because I don't force myself to fall. I just fall)

30 December 2004

Choose to

R E S O L U T I O N S FOR
AVOIDING M I S E R Y

Choose to love—rather than hate.

Choose to smile—rather than frown.

Choose to build—rather than destroy.

Choose to persevere—rather than quit.

Choose to praise—rather than gossip.

Choose to heal—rather than wound.

Choose to give—rather than take.

Choose to act—rather than delay.

Choose to forgive—rather than curse.

Choose to pray—rather than despair
-----

Tuesday morning!!

should finish my paper today, 3 papers and then pick up my laundry!
of course in the meantime doing my job and listening to favorite song.
Tonight gonna think deeply what I'm going to do next year..
Make some resolutions so I could be a better man each year..
Gonna drive my car with anybody who willing to stay with me (sound so simple)

This is what I gonna do............

Take twelve, fine, full-grown months,
see that these are thoroughly free
from all old memories of bitterness, rancor, hate and jealousy;
cleanse them completely from every clinging spite:
pick off all specks of pettiness and littleness;
in short , see that these months are freed from all the past;
have them as fresh and clean as when they first came from the great storehouse of Time.
Cut these months into thirty or thirty-one equal parts.
This batch will keep for just one year.
Do not attempt to make up the whole batch at one time
(so many persons spoil the entire lot in this way),
but prepare one day at a time, as follows:

Into each day put twelve parts of faith,
eleven of patience, ten of courage,
nine of of work (some people omit this ingredient and so spoil the flavor of the rest),
eight of hope,
seven of fidelity,
six of liberality,
five of kindness,
four of rest (leaving this out is like leaving the oil out of the salad, don't do it),
three of prayer,
two of meditation,
and one well selected resolution.

If you have no conscientious scruples,
put in about a teaspoonful of good spirits,
a dash of fun, a pinch of folly, a sprinkling of play,
and a heaping cupful of good humor.
Pour into the whole love ad libitum and mix with a vim.
Cook thoroughly in a fervent heat;
garnish with a few smiles and a sprig of joy;
then serve with quietness, unselfishness, and cheerfulness,
and a Happy New Year is certain


28 December 2004

satu hari setelah Christmas

Hari Minggu di saat sedang asyik mengerjakan tugas kelompok bersama Mitra Bestari, ada kabar dari radio kalo terjadi gempa di Lor, Aceh. Korbannya cukup banyak katanya..berita masih simpang siur mengenai korban tetapi jumlahnya mencegangkan, ribuan..
Ribuan jiwa manusia, belum lagi kerugian materialnya.
Kita bisa kehilangan orang yang kita cintai secepat kita membuka lembaran buku!
Minggu, 26 Desember 2004

25 Desember at Home...

Hari Natal, mami menyiapkan hidangan handalnya, Gudeg. Sebenarnya I promised to help her, tetapi karena sesuatu hal, saya telat sampai rumah dan gudeg sudah selesai dibuat.
Tanggal 24 Desember sebelum misa mulai, sms telah mulai masuk, dari jam tiga sore, handphone dah mulai berbunyi.. tapi malam natal kali ini ke gereja cuma bertiga bersama dengan mami dan ayah. Sepiiiii..walau di gereja banyak sekali umatnya but I miss something real, I miss the spirit of christmas.
Tanggal 25 Desember, pagi-pagi dah hujan, rasanya malezz sekali menjejakkan kaki di lantai kamar, pengennya menghangatkan diri di bawah tumpukan selimut dan lanjut tidur. Tapi Noel dah membangunkan, wah dia jalannya dah lancar, bener-bener jadi the center of attention, everybody loves him. Tamu-tamu berdatangan jam 11 siang, sebenarnya hanya keluarga dari Ayah sementara dari keluarga Mami belum ada yang datang di hari Sabtu. My second brother with his wife also come. Well dapat tenaga tambahan nih, karena ga ada pembantu, jadilah saya menjadi assistant manager untuk urusan menyiapkan makanan dan mencuci gelas dan piring. Yah kenapa Mami lupa tidak beli aqua di dalam gelas plastik, kalo ada aqua kan ga perlu terlalu sering cuci gelas.
Sore hari rumah kembali sepi, tamu-tamu dah pada pulang. Tapi kenapa belum damai juga hati ini, seperti ada yang kurang. Jam lima sore, satu sms yang dinanti dari kemaren tiba..ooh akhirnya, ada juga sedikit "perhatian" darinya. Lengkap sudah Natal 2004...that sms completed my day!

23 December 2004

Refleksi diri...

What's the meaning of christmas this year??
jawabannya dimulai dengan 'merefleksi' diri, mencerna kembali..apa yang telah di dapat dari Januari sampai dengan 23 Desember 2004.
Banyak sekali yang telah terjadi sepanjang tahun ini. Tuhan telah mencukupi segala sesuatunya, bahkan melebihi apa yang saya minta.
My list of thanks will be longer than my list of hope..

21 December 2004

I Like Monday

semalam jadi juga "jalan" setelah muter-muter, dari kampus ke mekarsari baru ke plaza EX. Weh nungguin karimun datang, kita berempat udah melahap sekoteng, martabak telor sama nasi goreng. Begitu karimun datang ternyata supirnya ga 'available'...
Jam 11 malam baru jalan dari Mekarsari naik taxi, sampai disana dah hampir jam 12!
yah koq suasana sepi-sepi aja nih?? gerak-gerak badan dikit, walau ga matching ama lagunya :P
ga terasa dah jam 2 pagi. Lagunya standard 'hardrock' mirip-mirip ama yang sering diputar oleh stasiun radionya. Grup bandnya ga jelas darimana blum pernah liat sebelumnya. Penampilannya standard cafe, yang cowo macho dan nge-rapper, sementara yang cewe, sexy, memperlihatkan lekuk-lekuk tubuh :) dengan make-up yang standard cafe juga ! dan lagu penutupnya the reason (and the reason is you..........)
Pengalaman yang...menyenangkan...and the most important we have something to show and tell, walau cuma tidur 3,5 jam..
Wuuuaaaahhh..ngantuk..mesti kerja lagi dan kuliah!!

17 December 2004


Unlock the door of your heart -
Enter the gentleness within.
Open the window of your soul -
Breathe in the season of miracles.
No matter how far you've traveled,
It's time to come home now,
Where Christmas abounds in love

by eyank

16 December 2004

I'm missing something rEaL

Gosh..
can I survive if I choose this way?
How long should I wait? two or three years??
what should I do next? I've been thinking this over and over
it's not an easy thing to go..
maybe I'm worried to much??
if I meet a great person, do I have any courage to hold him?
to work out things and make it real?
now..I'm missing something real..

15 December 2004

A minus

....unbelievable.. A minus for this..
Dua Hari Menjelang Lebaran
Sinar matahari dengan malu-malu mulai memperlihatkan keindahan sinarnya, menembus tirai tipis yang terpasang di daun jendela. Hari baru telah datang, dan semua kegiatan akan segera dimulai dalam hitungan menit demi menit. Kusingkirkan selimut, kurentangkan kedua tangan selebar-lebarnya dan mulut terbuka menguap.

Segera kuraih handuk, kuambil peralatan mandi, dan melangkah menuju kamar mandi. Sepuluh menit kemudian, keluar dari kamar mandi, tubuh terasa segar terkena guyuran air dan kulit terasa lembab karena telah dibersihkan dengan sabun mandi, siap memulai aktivitas selanjutnya. Pagi ini agenda harianku adalah pergi ke kantor, bekerja, dan kemudian sepulang bekerja langung menuju rumah untuk berlibur.

Liburan memang sudah membayangi hariku, hanya perlu menjalani delapan jam dan selanjutnya bebas. Tidak ada kewajiban pergi ke kantor untuk bekerja, tidak ada kuliah dan tidak perlu bangun pagi selama seminggu. Ide-ide sudah bermunculan memenuhi kepala, apa yang akan kulakukan selama seminggu nanti.

Namun sayang, lamunanku harus terputus karena ojek motor yang membawaku menuju kantor telah sampai di pelataran parkir depan kantor. Suasana di pelataran parkir tidak seperti biasanya, kali ini tidak nampak satupun mobil walau waktu telah menunjukkan pukul sembilan pagi.

Suasana di dalam kantor sama senyapnya dengan keadaan di luar. Beberapa teman telah mengambil cuti, dan yang tersisa belum semuanya hadir. Segera ku menuju ruanganku untuk menaruh tas kantor di dalam laci meja, dan kemudian mulai membuka berkas-berkas yang telah menanti untuk diselesaikan.

Tak terasa 20 menit telah berlalu, dua lembar surat telah selesai kuketik dan selama itu tidak ada satupun telepon masuk mengganggu pekerjaanku. Mulai aku menyadari bahwa dua hari menjelang lebaran, rupanya membuat orang sibuk menyiapkan datangnya lebaran, dan melupakan sementara pekerjaan. Apalagi besok adalah hari terakhir berpuasa, tentunya banyak yang memakai hari ini untuk berbelanja kebutuhan merayakan hari Lebaran.

Pikiranku kembali melayang, jauh ke masa lalu, mengingat makna lebaran sewaktu aku masih berusia tujuh atau delapan tahun. Lebaran di masa lalu, berarti memakai baju baru, memasak ketupat, membuat kue-kue kering yang enak, dan bersalam-salaman, meminta maaf di hari Raya. Betapa menyenangkan masa lalu, semuanya kelihatan indah dan polos. Tiba-tiba terdengar suara Manajer Personalia dari intercom yang mengatakan, bahwa kantor hanya akan buka setengah hari untuk hari ini dan karyawan diperbolehkan meninggalkan kantor jam satu nanti.

Melonjak kegirangan hati ini mendengar berita tersebut, segera kuraih gagang telepon dan menelepon ke rumah, meminta dijemput pukul dua nanti. Tak sabar hati ini, menunggu jam dua. Pikiranku kembali melambung, menuju sebuah kebun teh di kawasan Puncak, dimana terdapat sebuah vila mungil dengan tiga kamar tidur, sebuah taman yang ditumbuhi bunga mawar merah dan ditengah taman ada pancuran air yang terbuat dari bambu kuning, dan kolam ikan mas. Tempat yang sangat kurindukan untuk menghabiskan liburan, jauh dari keramaian kota dan hawa yang masih sejuk bebas dari asap kendaraan bermotor dan asap pabrik.

14 December 2004

Minggu-minggu Tersibuk dimulai lagi...

sebentar lagi ujian akhir, ga terasa tahun udah mau berganti lagi, umur berkurang lagi.
semester ini ujian setelah natal..huh..sebel..walau ga semua mata kuliah ujian tertulis, tetap aja beraaaaaaaaat bikin tugas. Dimulai lagi deh masa-masa kurang tidur, kamar tidur berantakan, buku-buku bertebaran diseluruh penjuru kamar, peper ooh peper.

pengennya tanggal 20 Desember tugas dah kelar tapi rasanya pesimis..karena setiap Sabtu kumpul ngerjain tugas kelompok. Hikss hikkss sedih..kapan waktu santai nih??

satu tugas selesai, sudah menanti yang lain..weeeh mana ga ada libur natal lagi..kalo tgl 24 ga libur gue mau meliburkan diri nih... bolos kerja :P

13 December 2004

Happines and Sadness

Saat bahagia membawa canda dan tawa, saat sedih membuatmu menangis dan semakin kuat. Seperti matahari yang selalu bersinar dan malam menggantikan siang. Cerita kehidupan berputar...




Life is Beautiful
Life can seem ungrateful and not always kind.
Life can pull at your heartstrings and play with your mind...
Life can be blissful and happy and free...
Life can put beauty in the things that you see...
Life can place challenges right at your feet...
Life can make good of the hardships we meet...
Life can overwhelm you and make your head spin...
Life can reward those determined to win...
Life can be hurtful and not always fair...
Life can surround you with people who care...
Life clearly does offer its Up and its Downs...
Life's days can bring you both smiles and frowns...
Life teaches us to take the good with the bad...
Life is a mixture of happy and sad...

Life is beautiful if you want it that way...


08 December 2004


tibalah saatnya penilaian performance kerja. Sounds good so far, although I just got average but it's fine for me. They said I go along with my job description and I got 3 items that above from average.
by eyank

Jangan Berpikir Terlalu Dalam

Hidup itu lebih "indah" bila dijalani.
Jangan menganalisa hidup ini..apa yang sudah terjadi terima saja, dan anggaplah bahwa itu bagian dari suatu kehidupan.

The big things appears because of the small one

Ide besar muncul dari ide-ide yang sebenarnya sederhana..

Kalau kau menganalisa hidup ini, dan terus mencari jawabannya, kau mungkin bisa mendapatkan jawaban yang memunculkan pertanyaan lain..begitu terus hingga akhirnya kau sadari hidup bukan hanya untuk mencari jawaban.

So it's better to make some action rather than discuss about life :)

I write this, not because I don't like with your question, tetapi karena hidup ini lebih indah bila kau menikmati saja apa yang hidup berikan untukmu.

Life just gives you time and space, it's up to you to fill it...

07 December 2004

Take Two Lemons and Make Lemonade

I like this story much, so I would like to share it with others...
let's go make an action, fill in our life and you'll surprised with the result...



(By Elaine L. Galit)

Our house invariably had an aroma of "home." Scents like the mouthwateringzest of frying onions at dinner time, and crisp vanilla spice that wafted through the rooms during the day. But after six months wading through the loneliness of widowhood, I realized I didn't like the whiff of sad staleness now permeating the house.
I'd drifted through those last months as though half of me was missing. Not strange, I suppose, after forty years of marriage to the same man. But a day arrived when I realized I had to decide what the rest of my life would belike. Did I want to wander the empty rooms being half a person, or did I want to get out and see if I couldn't become whole again? And if I did want to repair my psyche, how would I go about achieving this metamorphosis?

My children and grandchildren helped me decide."You love to write, Mom," they chorused.

"Write a book."Write a book? I thought. At my age?

But how many times had I told my children to live their dream? It wasstrange, however, to realize I might be able to live my old dream; a visionswallowed up for so many years with housework, husband and children.
Not that I would change a minute of it; that was my life and I loved it.But it wasn't my destiny anymore, and, as the homily goes, the sooner I realized it the better. Time has a way of slip-sliding through your life and before you know it, your children are married and have children of theirown.
Let's face it, if life is made up of seasons I've got autumn challenging me,I thought. Did I want to find out what else life could possibly contain for me, or windup a shriveled, bitter old person? That question made me shudder. I'd always been an active optimist. Over the years when my children jumped from sports to dance and back again, I'd volunteered for everything from Girl Scouts,through mentoring youngsters, to vice president or secretary of the many clubs and organizations I'd joined.
Then, for eighteen years I'd run my own business, a candy and gift shop. Later I'd handled events and promotions for a local bookstore. I had what is now referred to as "life experiences."

So, did I want to start an other business? Volunteer somewhere? When my husband was alive, I'd published a few articles in various magazines. However, my children were correct; I'd always wanted to write a book. Before I had a chance to dwell in other areas, a new world opened up.

An editor, hearing about my desire to link my love of children with my love of Houston, approached me through a mutual friend. Would I write about Houston and what children could see and do in my city? Interesting - I'd tossed adesire into the universe and an answer had drifted down. Without anywarning, I had my chance to write that book. From then on, my life took off in another direction.

I spoke with a good friend and we tossed around ideas. Before I knew it, we were on our way. We'd write a special book. Forget the lists, we'd base ourbook on the core curriculum here in Houston. We researched, interviewed and photographed our way though museums, parks, science exhibits and the manyhidden treasures to be found in our city.
When the book was published, I glowed with pride and my children stifled"I-told-you-sos." But I was even more thrilled when a national bookstorechain named us "Authors of the Month" in our area, and a major literary group asked us to be featured authors for their annual literacy event.
Before we knew it, we had a second contract, and my world and work continued to expand. At the same time, trying for a social life and further development of my"right brain," I went to Sedona, Arizona, for an Elderhostel art sampler.While watercolor wasn't my thing, I loved working with colored pencils. Backin town, I joined an Artist's Way group facilitated by my co author and began colored pencil painting.
Once again the universe sent help in the form of a supportive and synergistic group of people who are not only talented, butshare their love of art and joy of living. At the urging of one of theartists in the group, I agreed to enter a local art show. To my great surprise, I won three ribbons and sold a painting. I could have stayed at home and felt sorry for myself.
Thank goodness I didn't. Oh, don't get me wrong; I did stay at home, but it wasn't to moan about my loss, but rather to work at fulfilling my life's dream.
While doing so, I was also filling my life with something meaningful.I've always known we have many choices in this world. The trick is to select correctly; don't opt to drain life, choose to fulfill life.

As I write this, I'm pursuing both my writing and art careers. And loving every minute of it.Yes, the fall season of life is a challenge. But I realize that when those lemons start falling from the trees in summer, it's wise to collect them. Autumn, especially here in Houston, is still hot. What better than to mix some lemonade with ice tea and sip while working on the latest project?

Action, the joy of living life, throws winter far into the future.

01 December 2004


To Be With You

Hold on little girl
Show me what he's done to you
Stand up little girl
A broken heart can't be that bad
When it's through, it's through
Fate will twist the both of you
So come on baby come on over
Let me be the one to show you

I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you

Build up your confidence
So you can be on top for once
wake up who cares about
Little boys that talk too much
I've seen it all go down
Your game of love was all rained out
So come on baby, come on over
Let me be the one to hold you

Chorus

Why be alone when we can be together baby
You can make my life worthwhile
And I can make you start to smile

When it's through, it's through
Fate will twist the both of you
So come on baby come on over
Let me be the one to show you



What have I got to do to make you love me?
What have I got to do to make you care?
What do I do when lightning strikes me?
And I wake to find that you are not there

I WANT YOU....

I want you to know, that I let you go not just because I don't love you
I want you to realize that one day in the past you really bright my life
I want you to think that life is sweet even if I'm not there

I want you to see that I care in my own way...
I want you to smile when you see me although we're not lover anymore
I want you to forgive me for not being there when you needed me..
I want you to understand that you can have a happines without me..