..what would i do without you?..

"when you falling in love with your best friend.. "

Here with some comments I quote from indiatimes.com
My best friend would know me very well. She would know when I feel the need to be left alone and when I need her warmth and company.Similarly I would know her habits and ways of life.. the best part is that we both would know each other as a person very well.. so we won't have to face nasty surprises.In my opinion, a deep bond of friendship is the best foundation for the future.

"I married my best friend. We were best of friends for more than a year, when we asked the question 'Why not'. We hit it out great, understood each other and liked one another very very much. There was no reason to seek another partner, when I already knew Ms Perfect. We married not because we were the best of friends or believed that best friends should get married, but because it made sense to us. I don't advise others either way - just do what you feel is right."

"Hmmm... I wouldn't mind marrying my best friend. If we can be best friends, we'd be confident about getting along as marital partners too. And at the end of the day, marriage is about understanding, loving and living, right?" -

---
so why must be different between relationship and friendship? for me if the relationship is over it's okay because having him as a friend would be enough..i believe we could work it out coz in every relations starts from a friend, when love is run out, what is the bind that keep the relations? it is a FRIENDSHIP. after being a friend for so long and involved with someone more than twice relationship there's nothing wrong to falling in love with your best friend. after all if life is a road and we have to go through some intersections, when you turn out your face, he's there..admiring you, supports you, and gives his best time to you.

to a special friend..

Any girl who standing besides you, she must be very proud of you, if she's not, don't be sad, cause there's nothing wrong with you. Let me tell about you: You are sweet and caring, a good companion, you have a good heart & attitude, you are smart and tender, you are genuine, and you are handsome.
So if she's not proud to be with you, remember this..just forget that girl, one day she will come after you and said : she regret she dumped you, and that time you have a happy life with someone that realized how vulnerable you are.

Drowning..

somebody told me..i have to let u know
that u still in my heart
nobody knows what I'm going thru..
why you leave me hanging..
don't keep me hanging
I'm running in the empty road
and you are not there
what happen to the promise we have made?
somebody tell me what I've should do
I'm drowning in my misery

SPLASH JULY

Showing Jakarta, Bogor and spent one night at Bandung, July 2nd till July 5th 2006.

Hurrraaaaaayyyyy...I'm on vacation..

So this is love?

Dia katakan, punya pacar itu 'masalah' dan aku bilang tidak punya pacar juga masalah. As long as we lived there always been a trouble and problems to solved.
Last night I keep repeating what he said..the things that matters to me, important thing, something that nowdays people think it doesn't matters anymore. I hate to accept that he agreed with most of the people living in this world. But what can I do? if he thinks that way and keep asking that..he might be soon loosing me.
So this is love? when you love someone deeply and honestly? but for one reason you can't compromised anymore. It's not done yet..

U are my hopes & doubts

a little bit each day, everytime the doubts starting to control my emotions, i said a little prayer.
hoping that this hopes not ended hopelessly.
sometimes i was so sure with this feeling and sometimes i got weak when i see the future.
Oh..angel would you please lend me a wing so i could feel a little believe in my soul?
give me your wings so i could back to the future to see that this way is the right path for me?
i want a long lasting happiness..
but what's the meaning of happiness?

• if my family happy, then i can say i have a happy life?
• if i get the dreaming job?
• if i have much money to spend?
• if i have a handsome and loyal husband?
• if i have a beautiful house?
• if i have my own business?
• if i enjoy the time i spent with family and friends?

or maybe when i have a good health and job and still have a money in purse to spend?

Jatuh Cinta ternyata...

jatuh cinta?

hmm..kuncinya manajemen diri. "if you know when to reach and when to be far from love you will be safe."
people breaking up and then falling in love again, it's too ordinary to this world. sometimes you miss with the feeling being in love to somebody and sometimes you feel a bit tired loving someone. specially when someone that you care sometimes gives you a wrong impression or a mixed hint. sometimes you start clueless but sometimes in your heart you feel so sure with his love. one thing that people in love sometimes forgot, they expect more than they can ask for.
so why people get blue? when the reality doesn't match with their expectation!

The More I know You..The more I L U

I love you honey, I never thought I could write this title on my own blog. I thought I never able to say this words again. But I know now the meaning of it, to love is to give your time, thought and action and when love decide to go you can't do anything unless saying good bye to those memories.
Everytime I feel unsure or when my heart doubted it..I decide not to think about and stop analyzing. Because I learn if I keep thinking this not going well it will ended soon, so now I keep my positive mind hoping this time I can spend the rest of my life with him. It's to early? I don't know but I have a little faith he will keep his words.
So..the days has turn into a new month..and I'm proud to say the more I know him the more I love him. I noticed he has a good sense of humour (iseng bin usil) he likes to teased me and he is sensitive, and whenever he's part from me, I miss him.

..apa maumu?

Lalu mau apa lagi? stop dulu kali yak? setelah banyak tenaga dan waktu tercurah hanya dan untuk dia. Saatnya habiskan waktu untuk teman, makanan dan buku romantis.
I wanna dream and sleep all day...
kelihatannya gue terlalu semangat, saatnya nyante aja bleh..enjoy your time!
ke salon, ke rental novel..trus matikan ponsel hmmm sounds great

unfinish project (life)

"hati-hatilah dengan angan-anganmu, karena angan-anganmu akan menjadi kenyataan"..
It's true as long as we live we have to be ready to finish one project to another project.
Sometimes the project is finished right on time but sometimes we need more time and effort to finish an easy project.
every years perhaps we make a list like what we want to achieve and what we want to fix it, and after sometime when we finally did it, then we start to make another list. That's life..
life is a simple if we think that way, my imagination is having a good job and then owned business, of course family with 2 or 3 kids with husband adore n love me so much and a cozy house. but maybe after i achieved that, i start to make another wish..

...i'm falling for you..

This title just comes up when the girl next to me start to sing a song from Korean female artist, and part of the lyrics is I’m falling for you…
I wanna fall n fall with the same person each day, I don’t want this feeling ended not until the last day of my life. Even if his head becoming bald..I still fall for him. That’s my wish and I learn most of our wish is becoming our fate when we intend to be.
So I hope this feeling growing just like a nail each day, little by little but sure and I hope he stay falling for me till the last breath of my life :D
ADN

..si helm merah..

(cerita di bawah ini fiktif belaka, bila ada kemiripan dengan orang, tempat dan waktu bukan karena unsur kesengajaan)

Cerita ini tentang seorang lelaki berhelm merah, yang harus kuakui telah mengisi relung hatiku dengan sejumput harapan. Bahwa hidupku tidak akan sama lagi tanpa kehadiran dia.

“Halo Tika apa kabar? Gue Jonathan, gue dapat nomor elo dari Fredi”
Tika membalas : “Masih donk, elo kan yang dulu suka gigitin plastik :D gue baik”
Keesokan harinya, Jonathan menelepon dari kantor akhirnya empat hari setelah sms pertama Jon. Mereka pergi berkencan.
Sepuluh tahun yang lalu gue pertama kali mengenal Jon, seorang cowo yang cuek, dan apa yah? ngga banyak yang bisa diingat, karena tidak ada kesan yang mendalam. Hanya seorang cowo yang kebetulan kakak kelas gue. Kebetulan juga teman-teman gue juga teman-teman Jon.
Setelah kencan pertama, dilanjut dengan sms, telpon-telponan dan kemudian kencan kedua.
Nomor 59 tertera di layar ponsel Tika, loh koq dia telpon lagi, barusan dia telpon gue kan.
”Eh, Tika sori tadi gue lupa tanya, elo mau ngga kalo diajak nonton”
” Mau dong, kapan?” ”Yah kapan-kapan huehehe, ntar dikabarin lagi ya”
Sabtu malam..
(Tika): Mo keluar malas, koq Jon ngga sms gue yah.
Ngga lama, sms dari nomor 02168.. ”enak yang lagi resepsi, lagi makan enak ya”
Gue bales reply ”ngga jadi, cuma ke rumahnya aja, lagi dimana Jon?”
”Gue lagi di rumah saudara, selametan rumah baru”
”ngomong-ngomong enaknya kapan yah nonton?’
“Besok gue free”
“oke besok, deal?”
Minggu siang..
My second dating with a red helmet guy
Hmm it’s fun..he’s so nice and sweet. He’s a gentleman!
Does he know that I start to thinking about him, does he know that sometimes I’m afraid with my own feeling? I was not prepared enough to fall deeper.
I’m not brave enough to show my feeling.
(to be continue)

..Apakah ini yang dinamakan 'euphoria'?

euphoria=perasaan senang dan bahagia rohani dan jasmani

I wanna feel like this everyday but without unsure feeling.
I wanna feel somebody loves me harder than me,
everytime I turn my face I can see the person that I love,
when I'm gone somebody will be missing me badly,
when I get weak someone will give me a full support,
I want everyday my cell phone beeping with words, what r u doing? have a nice working day,
I like to have a cup of tea and thinking what he's doing right now,
when the weekend comes, somebody asking me going out for a walk or dinner,
a person who looks forward to spend his time with me,
someone that enjoy my companion,
Someone that seeing me in a special way.
above all..seseorang yang mau dan bersedia memperjuangkanku.

No need to hurry

menjadi manusia penyabar bukan hal yang mudah. kalau saja aku punya bola kristal yang bisa menunjukkan hidupku nanti akan seperti apa, mungkin lebih mudah?
aku tidak mempunyai bola 'magic' kristal seperti peramal-peramal itu, tapi aku punya sahabat-sahabat, kata hati dan iman yang membimbingku ketika aku merasa bimbang diantara dua pilihan, ketika hidup membuatku harus menunggu dan ketika semua impian terpampang di depan mata.
hendak kemana aku melangkah?
akankah seindah rembulan di bulan purnama?
bisakah aku mempercayai sekali lagi?
mampukah aku bertahan?
bersediakah dia menerima aku apa adanya?
kapankah waktu membawaku pada hanya satu pilihan?
i don't need to be hurry, and i believe in that.

...HUMAN being, Flash and Blood..

Menurut email yang gue baca kemaren, untuk menghindarkan dari rasa sakit (patah hati) yang dalam, kita (girls) jangan pernah deh berpikiran bahwa cowo kita sekarang adalah sosok pribadi yang sangat istimewa (duughhh namanya juga teman ‘spesial’) gimana seh?! Camkan dalam hati dan pikiran, bahwa dia hanya seorang ‘biasa’ yang tak lepas dari kekhilafan dan kesalahan.

Hmm..bener juga yah, saat kita jatuh cinta emang mimpinya yang indah-indah saja, ya..iya lah mana ada yang mau mimpi pahit (gggrrrrr). Semuanya menyenangkan, penuh dengan romance yang mengasyikkan dan berpikiran he’s the one that send from up above.

Nah..ketika sebuah hubungan turn “sour” apalagi ketauan kalo ternyata cowo kita mendua, sakiiit rasanya, diduain gitu lhoh. Ada rasa ngga terima karena ngga siap kalo ditinggalin. Rasanya seperti dihempas dari ketinggian menara dan terjun bebas tanpa persiapan? karena mimpi-mimpi yang kelewat tinggi? karena berpikiran seorang yang istimewa di mata kita ngga mungkin menyakiti kita?

So..we just a human being, flash and blood. Now you are in my heart and I hope forever it stays but gue bisa saja menyakitimu, membuatmu kecewa, marah karena gue juga manusia biasa. I love you honey..sorry beraninya lewat blog..hehhehe..I need time, okay…

i gave him a smile..

sunday morning

a very very sweet smile..
he didn't prepare to see me smiling to him, so he's a bit unsure, but anyway he smiling with me too, with his shy smile.
He likes to wear black t-shirt. I think he never noticed that once in the past I got chrush on him (huahahaha) now I'm not available anymore..really?!
my suitor far..far more better than him, what makes him so special? because he loves me.

..erase & rewind

(late at monday night) beeping :
mg lalu kita s4 punya mslh kan? eh skrg back on the right track. trus ntar ya depends on ur decission.
what do you do if someone asking like this?
rasanya seperti udah di hapus dalam memory pikiran & hati tapi ketika baru melangkah 3 atau empat ayunan..eh di tarik kembali.
I wanna say yes but I need time untuk menyakinkan kalo ini yang aku mau, dan juga melihat kesungguhan hatinya. Semoga he doesn't give up yet with me...
My dear Sis told me if I got principle I will not confussed, then my buddy ask what I feel about this guy? hmm I like him that's true, so he said then go lah..
but I listen to my heart..I wait till I ready..and I hope I will pick up the right hint.
I hope and praying..

L..O..V..I..N..G

"loving is not forgetting but how you forgive it, loving is not hearing but to listen, loving is not letting it go but holding on"

some advantages of being single

1. You are independent. Basically you can do what you want when you want. You don't have to wait, you don't have to ask, you can just go.
2. You have more time When you're single; you don't have to sit around doing nothing. Want to go to the gym? Want to join the hiking club? Play an instrument? How about watch your favorite video for 10th time? Want to take a course? Learn a new hobby? Who's stopping you?
3. You don't have to deal with another's personal habits. You can sleep without listening to someone's snoring and hog all the blankets all the time and nobody cares. You don't have to pick up after anyone but yourself. And you don't even have to pick up after yourself if you don't want to. Give your patience a well-deserved break.
4. You can be spontaneous Be daring! Do what you want when you want to and who cares if you don't get to dinner until midnight? Do something out of the ordinary, without having to get permission first or calling ahead. This is freedom!
5. You can focus on your career. You can channel your energy into your work. Without a relationship, you have a lot more time. Put in those extra hours and impress your boss, or take on new projects.
6. You are your own boss. Relationships need compromise and you don't always get your own way. Both people in a relationship have to give something up for the greater good of the relationship. Do what you want and treat yourself more. Selfishness is good for the soul (in small doses).
Don't stress! That special someone is out there and you can and will find them. It just takes time.In the meantime, enjoy being single. In fact, I believe that if you can't be happy being single, you will never be happy with your soulmate! Kind of like rich and poor.
There are lots of poor people who are happy and lots that are unhappy. Same with rich people -- lots are happy and lots are unhappy. Now what do you think would happen if we took a poor who was unhappy, and gave them lots of money?You guessed it! They would probably be happy for a short time, but it wouldn't last and eventually they would be just as unhappy as they were.Ever wonder why that is? Being happy comes from inside of you not outside.
OK, you are single -- enjoy yourself and that special person will come along before you know it!
http://www.bigdaddybruce.com

Kau pikir kaulah segalanya??

selasa, 21 Maret
06:12 WIB
sms dari +316262.."Aku ngga bisa tidur nih kepikiran kamu terus. Sebenarnya aq ngga mau nyakitin kamu, tapi aku ngga tau bagaimana caranya supaya tidak menyakiti kamu. Bingung kan?”

12:15 WIB
To : andw..@...
Subject : ngga ngerti
Dear Andw,
Gue ngga ngerti apa yang dimaksud dengan ngga mau nyakitin tapi ngga tau bagaimana caranya supaya tidak menyakiti kamu. Kata-kata yang klise! I still have a picture of you in my mind but you are right when you say “aku tidak mau mempertaruhkan hidupku dan membuat kesalahan yang ke dua kali. Gimana mau serius kalau hanya mengenal kamu di permukaan saja, you are free to move on kalau kamu pikir kamu menyukai orang itu dan lebih baik dari aku.” Those words hit me but what can I say.. the choice is made, I will go on my way dan menutup suatu episode dari cerita cintaku. I feel glad because you had telling me what’s inside your heart. As you said, tidak ada gunanya menunggu sesuatu yang tidak pasti. Lewat email ini saya mau bilang “if you are not ready to be hurt then you are not ready to give love”. Ngga usah dipikirin apa yang sudah lewat, toh mentari tetap bersinar, musim berlalu, ada saatnya cinta bertumbuh, mati dan bertumbuh. Kisah kita telah usai.
12:30 WIB message to andw..@... remove from draft to recycle bin.

Sebenarnya..

Sebenarnya nama kamu sudah terdelete mas..
Kalau kamu online terus aku sign out itu karena kebetulan, gimana aku tau kamu online, ID kamu sudah di delete. Nyesel? sampai hari ini engga, abiz aku cape baca kalimat-kalimat tersurat kamu. Diberi harapan kemudian di hempaskan lagi. Bahkan nomormu sudah aku delete, dugh kalo yang satu ini kecelakaan ga bermaksud menghapus semuanya, tadinya cuma satu nomor. Itu aja sih pengakuanku yah kalo ada sumur di ladang boleh kita berjumpa lagi.....maksudnya?! yaah kalo kamu menghubungi atau IM-in aku sebisa mungkin aku jawab.
Ketika aku bilang cukup..kamu bingung sendiri kan? iih aku menikmati sekali permainan ini.
Until then..

...Pakai sepatumu, pasang senyummu...

Maju terus pantang mundur..gunakan waktu seefisien dan seefektif mungkin, when you are in dead relationship just move-on, pakai sepatumu-pasang senyummu ayo cari lagi..
Mereka tidak akan peduli how you achieve something, hanya melihat hasil akhir, yang peduli terus siapa? yah kita sendiri, so jangan breakable donk. Walau pahit, hadapi dengan lapang dada..iih suseh yah berlapang dada. Walau suseh tapi bukan ga mungkin kan?

tu wa..ga pat..buang sakit hatimu nanti kami jenguk pasanglah senyummu pakailah sepatumu ayo terus maju cari pacar baru..ini kata-kata koq ngga nyambung!

kubaca lagi emailmu

Kenapa pertanyaan yang kelihatannya sederhana menjadi susah dijawab? apa karena gue bingung, ga pasti dan ga tau mesti menjawab apa? buat gue untuk menjawab pertanyaan yang mudah ini seperti membongkar kembali kotak tua. Hasilnya?
unbelievable..gue masih punya email dari dia dari tahun 2003. Hah? trus beberapa pertanyaan-pertanyaan singkat dia yang ngga gue jawab. Ketika gue bongkar lagi outlook express gue..astaga..dia masih memforward ke alamat email gue yang sudah lama sekali ngga pernah gue pakai. Ada saatnya dia seperti my morning call, kemudian waktu mengubahnya menjadi orang yang susah ditemui sampai gue tau kalo dia sudah menghapus nomor gue dari phone book-nya dan gue malakukan hal yang sama. Sekarang dia datang dan bertanya nomor hp gue.
Kenapa cerita ini jadi panjang gini yah..dan cukup complicated..
Apa yah sekarang ini waktu yang tepat?

Bertahan Untuk Cinta (ehmm ehmm)

terbang aku ke angkasa biru
terbius aku oleh pesona syurgawi
terlepas aku dan biarkan melayang indah
oleh pesona pancaran dirimu yang memikat lembut jiwaku
kuingin pastikan ini bukan sekedar mimpi
tetapi kalaupun ini mimpi biarkan ku terlena olehnya
karena ini merupakan mimpi terindah dalam hidupku
yang membuatku damai dan tentram olehnya
hadirmu memberi jiwa yang damai untukku
bagaikan singgasana emas di istana raja
layaknya permadani dunia disemenanjung katulistiwa
itulah pesona dirimu merasuk kalbu
ingin kumiliki dirimu dalam hati selamanya
bukan karena egois tapi karena aku mencintainya
mencintai sesuatu yang indah sebagai karunia Illahi
aku akan bertahan untuk cinta bukan untuk dirinya
dialah sesuatu yang tlah kutemukan dalam langkahku
semoga pesonanya akan slalu mengiringi perjalananku
oh....Peguasa alam takjub aku melihat karya-Mu
semoga restu-Mu slalu mengiringi langkah perjalananku

Created by

Richardo Steven B.

Timing is Everything (I refused to give up)

Those words seems perfect to describe my life recently. Started when I have a little discussion with Bo, then we ended in a conclusion..yep we believe in "timing". Let's say I really want to move to another job and company and I have applied for more than 10 companies, and attended some interview but in some reasons the companies still not hiring me. Is it timing isn't? I go for interview and I was so full of confidence but I'm not yet having the job. I believe the time was not right. But if I try and try again I believe I will have a new job as I want it but it takes time to be there.

The problem is some are giving up some are refused to give up.
Not in job matters in relationship I believe timing is everything, no matter how hard I keep the relations but if the other person in that time not considering as important as I am it won't worked. So it is right, timing is everything!

and honey do you think now is the right time for us ? I hope so because the feeling is still there...

Dia lagi..

This is my journal, this is my life, this is about Dia..
Dia yang pernah mengisi hatiku
Dia yang pernah membuatku kecewa
Dia yang pernah membuatku marah dan kesal
Dia yang pernah membawa senyum di wajahku
Dia yang pernah menyita pikiranku
dan terkadang semuanya kembali di suatu waktu..apakah ini waktu yang tepat?
Timing is everything..

Don't sway..I need you to stay

..aku menunggu sampai kau mau !

I know that deep in your heart the feeling for me is still there. I know that you still thinking over and over and wishing that we haven't a big difference. But my Dear..the things is only hard when you just thinking it and never have a courage to work it out. I'd like to conviced you when you thought it will be a big problems sometimes is only a small problems.
No worries no worries because life is about to choose..
I know you try to forgot me but you still don't succeed, I know you try to make a distance but you failed. Anyway many things can be happen during this year, maybe you will meet another attractive girl and maybe I am the one who have the key to unlock your heart.
Until then..I'm standing here with my words that I don't want to change anything in you and whenever you need a support I will give you the strength, and whenever you feel sad, I will make you to smile again, and whenever you feel like you are confused I will show you the way !

Kenapa punya BLOG?

"Gue heran aja sama orang yang rajin nulis Blog, kalau gue sih senang baca blog orang" itu kata teman lama gue yang sekarang lagi di negeri orang, nun jauh di benua Arab dengan profesi sebagai istri dan ibu dari dua bidadari.
Ada berbagai alasan kenapa orang suka nulis blog, yang pertama, kebutuhan untuk mencurahkan uneg-uneg, sebagai manusiakan lumrah banget ngerasa kesal, benci, seneng, nah ada orang yang menumpahkan uneg-uneg ke pasangan, teman, sahabat. Ada juga yang nulis itu di jurnal or diary. Blog kan pengganti jurnal/diary yang waktu jaman belum semaju sekarang kita tulisnya di buku yang tebal. (I still have 3 diary peninggalan jaman SMU & kuliah)
Yang kedua, bikin blog supaya orang melihat, dengan tulis di web, orang dari antah berantah akan lihat tulisan kita dan mungkin akan menuliskan beberapa comment.
Yang ketiga, nulis di blog memang hobi, mungkin memang hobi menulis? sama aja dengan orang yang punya hobi nonton film, kalau ditanya kenapa? yah pasti jawabnya hobi sih..
Yang keempat, punya kesempatan...walau orang itu hobi nulis tapi ga punya komputer, dan koneksi internet yah ga nulis di blog. Yang kelima, ga pengen dipandang ga gaul..hariiii giniii..semuanya kalo bisa pakai digital, masa ga punya Blog..memanfaatkan teknologi donk !!
mungkin untuk hal yang terakhir, banyak yang ga setuju dengan gue.

After all blog mungkin cuma temporer..ntar kalo ada teknologi baru blog ini tinggal HISTORY.

self portrait & on graduation day

Mountain Range..Pesona Alam--Bagedor

Sabtu lalu gue jalan-jalan ke Puncak, dan seneng banget bisa foto-foto di sana. Pemandangannya indah, tempatnya juga bersih. So if you want to go camping but don't want get wet and dirty, you could go to "Bagedor" Cisarua Puncak, located near from Taman Safari Cisarua this place I recommended if you want to spend your weekend with out door activities.
Besides that accross from Bagedor there are some villa in the area named Pesona Alam, but remember don't try asking to villager about Bagedor coz it useless no body know it so better asking where is Pesona Alam Villa, it's more famous. If you find that villa you will find Bagedor.

........Best Friend...

Last Tuesday I called my friend, and sad to find out she just had misscarried. She was so happy heared my news, I told her that I just have my graduation day.

Last year I have a big big lesson, what does a friend means? then how to maintain the ralationship. So I end-up with conclusion this relations sometimes bring you so much happines but sometimes bring you a problem. Life is a bunch of problems?

By the way, I have known Pinta since my college time, there were time when we so close, after we graduted and have a job we still seeing each other, then maybe because of her work, I remember she was so busy then she stop meet us, I have another friend whose name is Linda. For me Linda is like a sista...with her, I can throw my spirit of competition, so we put our relations first.

Well anyway our friendship nowdays going strong because we have through the years and problems, and this time she needs our support and prayer.

I think that's what friends are for.......for good times and bad times.

Although sometimes we fight and againts to each other but the ability to forgive and forget are the medicine to cure the hurted and dissapointed.

Friends Forever !!

Wednesday, 25 09:00 WIB

Di bus tadi pagi dalam perjalanan ke kantor dari rumah, gue berpikir untuk "absent" dari kantor. Cape banget man!! semalam keluar kantor jam 6 sore hujan terus hampir satu jam gue nungu bus ke rumah udah mau give up, last minute bus mayasari itu datang juga..akhirnya jam 8 malam gue sampai dengan selamat di rumah.

Terus ini pagi mau bangun rasanya maleeeeessss walhasil gue kesiangan, jam 6.30 baru keluar dari rumah..macet..cet untuk mencapai halte. Duduk di halte nunggu bus, sambil nyanyi berdoa menghilangkan kebete-an karena bus mayasari jurusan Depok ga muncul muncul. Srrrrrtttt tiba-tiba ada cewe maniz turun dari metromini looooh itu kan si Yuni..ternyata dia senyum ama bapak yang duduk di sebelah gue, terus dia nyadar kalo gue disitu. Ngobrol bentar terus bus dia datang duluan. Dari pembicaraan yang singkat gue tahu rumahnya di Kav. DKI...OOOo..

I was or still admiring his brother but never had a courage to..or at least trying to find information about her bro..wuaaaahhhh..

Many times our path cross, twice I remember but the last time I only shake his hand and smiling..I lost my bravery !! so until one day I decide to put her bro on black box, stop admiring him.

Pas dah dekat kantor gue baru inget hari ini gue beli kamera yang akan diantar siang nanti. Waaaah duitnya juga gue titip di kantor. Yahhh hilang nih bonus bulan ini, busyeeet jam brapa gue sampe kantor?? almost 9. Then when I arrive at office Ratih said she had put my presents card on the machine..it means absent gue ga merah.

Wooooooooo another surprise from God !!!

Thanks Father..

kadangkala hidup mengharuskanmu menangis...

Kadangkala hidup mengharuskanmu menangis tanpa sebab. Kau merasa sudah berbuat baik dan benar, tetapi masih banyak kritikan yang dialamatkan kepadamu. Kau mengira keputusan yang kau ambil sudah tepat, ternyata perkiraanmu keliru. Jangan putus asa! Bangkitlah!

Matahari tanpa sinar tidak layak di sebut matahari.Demikian juga dengan dirimu. Kau adalah matahari yang seharusnya memancarkan sinar, sekalipun mendung kelabu menutupi pandangan orang untuk melihat keindahan cahayamu. Anakku yang terkasih Aku sering melihat mu marah ketika kau melihat orang lain berhasil.
Untuk apa kau menginginkan keberhasilan orang lain?
Bukankah Aku telah menyediakan suksesmu sendiri?
Kau tidakpernah mengejarnya, jadi kau tidak pernah bisa memilikinya!
Matamu tidak terfokus kepada rancanganKU yang dahsyat atas hidupmu, melainkan tertuju kepada karyaKU yangluar biasa terhadap diri orang lain.
Jadilah seperti air. Selalu mengalir....melewati semua benda, menembus semua sisi dan tanpa batas. Anakku, jangan mau dikalahkan oleh keadaan, tetapi kalahkan keadaan !

Anakku yang terkasih.. Jangan sakit hati ketika kau ditegur, padahal kau merasa sudah mengerjakan yang terbaik. Sakit hati itu hanya akan membuat tidurmu tidak nyenyak dan perasaaanmu tidak nyaman. Buanglah itu dari hatimu dan pikiranmu!
Kuasailah dirimu sedemikian rupa hingga kamu bisa mengatasi perasaan diperlakukan tidak adil, dilecehkan, diremehkan ataupun dikhianati oleh sesamamu.
Bukankah memang untuk itu kau hidup? Untuk melihat kenyataan bahwa didunia ini yang paling mengerti perasaanmu dan menerimadirimu apa adanya hanya AKU? Jauhilah segala bentuk kemarahan, tetapi jangan jauhi AKU! AnakKu, ingatlah hal ini baik - baik. Aku selalu membuka tanganKu lebar- lebar untuk memberimu rasa aman, kapanpun kau membutuhkannya. Aku senantiasa menyiapkan bahu untuk tempat kepalamu bersandar dan mencurahkan tangis. Aku melakukannya karena Aku sungguh - sungguh pedulipadamu !!!

Ayah yang selalu mengasihimu...TUHAN

wisuda..

Dear Bloggers,

Next February 4th I will graduated from faculty of Comunication Science..and today I have a card invitation to attend the graduation ceremonial.
As soon as receiving the invitation card suddenly I remember the moment (2004) I think when a boy who that time have "crush" on me asking me to come to his graduation ceremony. I was so speechless cause he asked me to come to his city which is about 3 hours from where I live ! it's just a memory flash..and I never show up anyway coz I feel so indifferent. I don't think I have helped him during his study..ggggrrr..grrrr...and what should I do when I meet his family?
so this year I open with graduating from my college and then find a new job and hubby maybe?
wish me luck bloggers...

the hero would Be You

tahun baru, new resolutions, karir baru, new hair cut, new boy friend..everything is new?
i love 2005 but 2005 was over..and fourth day in a new year..
let's back to 2005 ...
tahun lalu tiba-tiba someone from the past, actually i never get to know him so well..asking me for second chance. i don't answer him that time but if he push me to answer i'll say there's no second chance, the last time i gave the second chance to a boy it's 3 years ago..waaaah..
then during last month i meet very interesting guy (stranger), the last one living so far..hmmmm
then third days in new year someone (my old buddy) proposed me by ym..hahhh!! asking to marry me, perlu brapa lama pendekatan? hoooooo..
well, i think i get chrush to someone, although i hate this feeling, coz he's not by my side..but i still can't move his face from my mind.

YEAR'S-end TRIP

from west java till east java..from 23 till 27 December by road. Start 5 AM in the morning my trip is begins. Here some pictures I took during my trip.
* statue of Sukarno (the first president of Republic of Indonesia)
* Sukarno's monument
* Goa Maria Poh Sarang
* Cookies market at Klaten

pictures from my thesis final defend

December 10, 2005 start from 10.30 AM, then at 11.00 AM thesis presentation begins..
this pictures was taken by my friend, vanny or i used to call him vanny-san. all i can say thanks for coming friends, thanks for everything..you makes my life bright !

causin's wedding

Some pictures from Anin's wedding sacrament..
This wedding ceremony was held in Javanese tradition.
Congratulations for both of them..
As I predict before, aunty gives me a question, when is my turn? and I said next year !! (though I dunno what's year)
I don't really bother it much since I know marriage sometimes can be easy and not easy..it's a matter of choice and time..

..thesis defended on dec, 10

Start from 3 AM in the morning I can't sleep anymore, I was so nervous with my big day, even I already doing some preparation but my body was so alert..
then..at 8 AM, my cell was ringing, mom called said she's waiting downstair..here we go the battle just start it. Some friends comming to watch my court..even mom was attending too, Tina, Salman, Jimmy, Peny, and Vanny were my supporter !
so..at 11 AM, the chief start the opening and then the examiner lecturer start questioning me some long questions..thank God I can answered all the question..and not long after that I was told that I passed the examination and graduated from Faculty of Social Science & Politics University of Indonesia.
and after that, party was held by my brother we ate at Italian restaurant for lunch, and my cell start beeping some of my friends send congrutulation wishing...
Thanks God once again and thanks friend for the support & prayer, and to my family I love you much..your support was my motivation and inspired me to achieve what I always want it !

..my heart pump-in

3 days start from now I will have a big day, Saturday comes so fast..tik..tik..tik the clock can't stop it. Everybody told me that everything is gonna be okay, my friends, my parents, I hope everything will be running so smooth. Oh can't wait any longer...
so this time just prepare the best I can do, the rest is I put on HIS hand.

down, desperate, hate..(the negative emotion)

After thinking over and over, and trying to see in the bright side, but today I feel I lost my patience ! I think I lost all motivation to work on this company, everything seems so unpleasure, I start to think that my job always repeating, and lack of new chalenge and journey !
so today my negative emotions seems winning my day, and I hate to tell everybody about that !
It seems I should rewind my mind, what's the main reason I still stay in this job :
1. I still working on my thesis and not yet graduated 2. no other job offer to me 3. hoping that I can continue my study abroad 4. maybe I could have a good refference by knowing a good professor and dean.
I think the most reason I still stay is not yet graduate and for study abroad !

the SUN rise next to my apartment

If is not because I'm writing my thesis I'm gonna miss this remarkable VIEW..wooow...at 6.15 in the morning..
each morning i woke up in the hurry, never have time to see the sun rise..
each morning i woke up with so many list to do..never have time to thank that today the sun rise once more..

mothers n daughters...

we are daughters and mothers..
we give and take but you give me more than I do..
you keep me warm with your love..
you always told that sky is the limit..
and i learn from you mother is a full time job and never be over till it's over..
i love you..

Last night i go for shopping for mom birthday presents, I start with a plan buy mom a white clotch and ended with a cream hand bag. I know recently she got a hard time, understanding my dad is never an easy way, she wants to make sure everything is happy, we (her children), daughter in law and grand son always taking your time too much. But you know Mom everything that you do is right, but sometimes we see it in another point of view, sorry for making you dissapointed..don't stop giving your love.

Dolce Vita

...yeah it's about my thesis, yesterday i meet my dean and she said, one week from now i have to finished my thesis..
ooh my heart start pounding, since soon i have to put a bachelor degree after my last name.
he e ehhehe..this is what i'm waiting for, but when finally comes in front of me, i feel exiting and a little scared.
and last night instead of doing my thesis, i watch bewitched n while you are sleeping. The second movie is one of my favorite..everytime i watch this movie i never see it completely, and last night too, half part yes, but then i feel asleep.
so..today and 2morrow will keep myself avere entusiasmo ! working on my thesis..

43 things to do?? I think 25 is more than enough !!

Early this morning i've seen a blog called 43 things.com, there I find people put their things to do, plan, and wishes. Well I don't think that my list will be that long...

so let's see how long is gonna be my list :
1. finish my thesis
2. praying more..specially rosary
3. go traveling to KL & Illigan (meet my lovely sis)
4. having serious relationship (commited)
5. spent my time more for mom n dad (family)
6. saying i love you more to people i care about
7. in love n being loved by a man which is the same faith with me
8. deposit my money
9. donate more
10. buy an electronic stuff (digital camera, TV flat, web cam ext.)
11. better job with more money
13. learn italy
14. study or working abroad
15. read more n watch less
16. exercise more
17. start my own family
18. doing volunteer
19. buy a car
20. having my own business
21. live in a house with good temperature n good neighborhood
22. surrounded by family n good friends
what else?? that's all i think at this moment..

how bout you??

Mr Right VS mr RIGHT now

Masih topik tentang yang berhubungan dengan cinta, suka atau tidak, mau tidak mau hidup itu indah kalau kita punya banyak cinta yang bisa dibagikan ke banyak orang.
Memutar rekaman kaset kehidupan gue, banyak banget di tahun ini gue kenal sama orang, baik yang menarik, yang menyebalkan, dan juga yang memang mengharuskan gue kenal tuh orang! but betul kalo friendship is hard to find karena ga banyak yang terus bertahan "sepanjang waktu".
Loh sebenarnya gue mau cerita tentang mr right now kan, heeeh Mr. Right Now menurut gue itu seseorang yang karena berbagai alasan dan keadaan membuat gue bertemu dengannya. Adakalanya gue bersamanya pada hitungan minggu, bulan dan juga tahun! me and him sharing manis dan pahitnya hidup ini. Bisa aja karena sesuatu hal kita berpisah! dan kemudian I meet another Mr. Right now, so gue akan pilih mr right now then mr. right karena gue masih bingung mendeskripsikan MR. RIGHT, apakah mr right itu orang yang almost sempurna? atau karena itu mr. khayalan? But I learn apa yang menurut gue "right" ternyata orang itu tidak memandang gue ms. right, dan kadang yang gue pandang sebelah mata, malah he is mr. right now.
so don't expect much and don't hurry, but don't go slowly !

tell me quando..quando

This post is inspired by the song title "quando" by michael buble..recently almost everyday I heard this music played by local radio.

Tell me when will you be mine/Tell me quando quando quando/We can share a love devine/Please don't make me wait again/When will you say yes to me/Tell me quando quando quando/You mean happiness to me/Oh my love please tell me when...

thanks for making my day looks great, thanks for saying i'm almost perfect, (gee I never felt that way), i deliver a short prayer for you today..for your happiness.. maybe one fine day, when we finally aggreed to put behind our difference and just hold on to what we believe and being able to used the word us and no longer YOU and ME..
one sweet day..but quando..quando..

>>for the person that a minutes ago i said that i miss you

SELAMAT L E B A R A N

libur telah tiba..libur telah tiba..
senangnya..
gue mau pergi camping..wowwww..
I'll miss my time sitting in front of computer and browsing and waiting my buddy online buzz me and IM me..
haahhh..gonna eat..eat..and sleepping while holiday so till I'm back from my holiday you guys take care..!!
will be miss u

Thesis

It's enough bout script (THESIS) today..dizzy dizzy..tinggal tunggu perbaikan trus..ketik lagi yang perlu..trus sidang deeh. IS that so simple? maybe..if you think life is simple then it would be.
Pagi ini jalanan dah mulai sepiii..bentar lagi lebaran mungkin dah banyak orang mudik. Gue suka banget kalo pas lebaran Jakarta aga lengang bisa buat main bola kaki di jalan raya :-p hari Rabu mulai libur trus tanggal 9 Nopember masuk lagi..iih ngapain yaah gue..
Mba Ima sms tadi asking about my plan..aaaah mau dong pergi kemana gitu "killing my time"
sebelum kembali pusing lagi dengan skripsi..oh iya mesti ke rumah dosen, ambil revisi..aah kecil..pokoknya "fun-fun" and ga perlu mikir terlalu berat, beli VCD/DVD, novel, makanan kecil (foods) ?? shopping..shopping!!!

...............intersection road......

i believe there is a time to meet and to say goodbye.
i know in each of intersection..i will meet new people, some can be a potential friend, some were my old friend and more than one can be my candidate boy friends.
sometimes it started for a simple thing, a common background, common interest, something that we never expected before..
many times what we have been predicted before never happen, or getting worse..but many times what we never wish for...come to our way and bring so much joy and laughter !
so..the most important in relationship bukan berapa banyak kita putus, tapi berapa banyak kita bangkit lagi setelah kegagalan.

...love H U R T S

Last night I read a tabloid and one of the article is about LOVE HURT. It's an interesting article since some girls writing their experience about how love could be so "cruel" and after I read it comes to my mind to put in my blog.

For girls who just being dumped..once including me (hahahaa)..we don't need to feel the world is over, coz' there are so many-many girls out there had the same experience as we do or even worse than we have. All the girls who share her experience, all are pretty, all are smart, but in life remember theres is a time for everything. So for you who still sad, lost and hate your "ex boy friend" remember, everything comes in a purpose. Don't go sad and lost too long because the key reason why he dumped you was he don't deserve to have your love...

Here I quote what the girl's tabloid wrote

so..let's start experience number one:

"sehari sebelum putus dia bilang sayang banget pada saya eh..ngga tahunya besoknya dia langsung minta putus! saya baru tahu kalau ada orang ketiga. Setelah kejadian itu, kerjaan saya menangis dan menangis, mogok makan, sampai semua keluarga ikut turun tangan"

number two:

"tanpa firasat apapun, aku mengiyakan ajakan pacar buat ketemuan dan makan malam di sebuah restoran. Aku pikir bakal ada makan malam romantis, karena suasana kafenya romantis banget. Ternyata, begitu kami duduk dia langsung bilang kalau ngga bisa melanjutkan hubungan kami. Gubrak!"

number three:

"saya diputusin pacar seminggu sebelum ujian skripsi, tanpa alasan tidak jelas pula. Saya menangis semalaman, sampai-sampai teman sekos heboh"

see..boys sometimes dumped you in a silly reasons, but you can do the same too (dumped your boy friend) but...my advice (in this case I try to be expert !!)

for the girls who intend to dumped your Boy Friend just because you falling in love with someone else, please think over and over again...coz' once you make the "hole" in his heart, he might be forgive you but not forgotten. So make a good reason if you want to break up.

GAMBATTENE

--sedikiiiiit lagiiiii sampai deh di sidang !!!!!
--semangaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttt
harus bikin abstrak, daftar isi, daftar pustaka, terus direvisi, terus sidang dech
iiccchhh cuma segini aja..
iccchhh ngeriiii
sidang gitu looh
abis lebaran maju sidang.
ayooooo lekas wujudkan
Gunakan waktu untuk hal-hal besar

.the words that i like to use recently

"walah"
"aaaah"
"ga penting"
"kesel"
"case closed"
"ada deh"
"setuju"
"where are you from"
one word that can describe my feeling now:
"kangen"

i miss you so bad !!

MY WEDDING INVITATION

HUAAAHAHAHA...
GOTCHA..
you thought it was real, huh..
today i post a bulletin boards on my friendster and at subject i said my wedding invitation..so the first person who believe my trick is my colleague.
there is a smile in my face...heheehe..you know guys if i want to get marry, i'll send you a real invitation not only on FS.
wekekekekehhh.
so today i meet a new online friend, and i found out he has a gift.
He said.."jangan mencari, let God arrange it for you" yeahhh let somebody find me, isn't?

to the world maybe i am just somebody but to somebody i am his world (really??)

This past two days..i sleep only 3 hours in the morning.
wuaaaaaaahhhhhhh (yawning) luckily "funny" accompanied me during my tired, desperate moment working on my thesis.
so..what's the related between the title with what I write here??? I just want to say, I am glad to have a friend like him..a friend like him nowdays is very rare.
He was postponed his sleeping time, because he knows I'm working for my thesis..so till I msg him that I done doing my thesis, he still woke up..
and..early in the morning..I had come to the conclusion, that he came home in the right time!

..what ever..

it's their life, it's their choice..it's up to them.
all i want they are happy, but if the condition like this, though i thought it's not the "perfect"
but what can i say, i think i'm hoping too much, i think i ask for much, higher than they could do.
So..what ever, what way they choose, i leave to them.
Seeing them like this only make my heart broken. i do what i can do, the rest is up to them!
but i pray for the good, that they can show their love each other.

KISAH ROMANTIS

my favorite song (this month)...sang by Glen Fredly, that are known as a musician who sing a sad song, but not this time!

mengejar dirimu takkan ada habisnya
membuat diriku menggila
bila hati ini menjatuhkan pilihan
apapun akan kulewati
hari ini sayang sangat penting bagiku
kau jawaban yg aku cari
kisah hari ini kan ku bagi denganmu
dengarlah sayang kali ini
permintaanku padamu
reff:
dan dengarlah sayangku
aku mohon kau menikah denganku
ya hiduplah denganku
berbagi kisah hidup berdua
cincin ini sayang terukirkan namamu
begitu juga di hatiku
hujan warna-warni kata orang tak mungkin
namun itu mungkin bagiku
sebuah tanda cintaku

as a girl i wonder, is there any romantic guy who dare to ask (will you marry me) just like Glen? hehehe..it's too good to be true?
anyway yesterday was my "suitor" birthday...wish you all the best, but sorry to say i don't feel the same and i don't have a heart to love you as you do..and everytime i saw your eyes, i feel guilty. Coz' your eyes telling millions thing!
life is a mystery but i believe too that we write our own story and everytime i think i know the end. I don't!

..tired, sleppy, but it's worthed

..I'm sleepy coz i don't have enough sleep but the amazing thing i feel so fresh this morning and walking very fast to office. But after lunch when my stomach is full i just noticed i feel sleepy, i hope i don't fall asleep at my desk. ....the reason i woke this morning, too early was i try to beat myself, i mean the laziness. The teacher encourage me to finish my thesis as soon as possible..so been working till 86 pages...semangat..semangat !!! today got time to check some interesting website, first website is owned by my friends, or i think so since i don't know for sure, when i had meet her, perhaps on cyber world. She is a writer and been published some novels for teenager consumption, but even i'm no longer (sometimes i pretend to be) teenager, i like to read her novel, i mean her site, not yet buy her novel

lukisan hujan

Second the blog, I completely dunno her, because i get the link from

Roy

her blog

is tipically girl blog, with lot of topics talking bout love and romance and boys (dream man)..yes tweenty something (SINGLE) but be happy because always have a romance.

..busy entertaint friendzzz

From monday up today, my friendzzz visiting me, it was surprising me, because these friends are been a while I din't meet them.
Today my friend Vany Nihon, I call him that way, because he's so crazy with Nipon/Japan stuff n always asking my news with the words, genki? the short from genki desuka?
He just finishing his study at Kroningen Netherland (i hope this is the right spell), coming and we got lunch together.
So happy to see them, because what makes you happy when you are tweenty something and single? you are sorounding by friends which we can share our experience. We are laugh together since our problem is the same, "beating ourselves". The key to be survive in this world is beat yourself !! the same topic I discuss with Roy earlier this morning.

Thanks friends...

botanical garden BOGOR part 2

more picture at Kebun Raya Bogor...

Buitenzorg (Bogor)

Last saturday got a chance to visit Kebun Raya Bogor (botanical garden). By train me and Bo went there, and only spend money 2000 rupiahs from depok to buy an economic class train and then 1000 rupiahs for "angkutan kota" or small car (public transportation car). To enter Kebun Raya every person should pay 5.500, so the total is 8.500 to breath deeply (the air still good) and spoil your eyes 'coz everywhere you look all green (big trees n flowers).

I put a little about the history of Kebun Raya Bogor :
Buitenzorg is the usual residence of the governor-general of the Dutch East Indies, and is further remarkable on account of its splendid botanical garden and for its popularity as a health resort. The botanic gardens are among the finest in the world; they originally formed a part of the park attached to the palace of the governor-general, and were established in 1817. Under J. S. Teysmann, who became hortulanus ~fl 1830, the collection was extended, and in 1868 was recognized as a government institution with a director. The palace of the governor-general was founded by Governor-General van Imhoff in 1744, and rebuilt after being destroyed by an earthquake in 1834. Buitenzorg is also the seat of the general secretary of the state railway and of the department of mines. Buitenzorg, which is called Bogor by the natives, was once the capital of the princess of Pajajaran.

..My Nemo is Coming..

Rasa penasaran itu udah hilang, it's about one man, yang dulu sempat bikin gue panasaran, kalo inget dulu..gue suka terima sms dari dia, sms yang gue pikir sekarang ga penting, tapi dulu jelas bikin gue “wondering”, bikin gue senang..hehehee..
Sampai akhirnya rasa penasaran itu tertutup dengan hal lain yang lebih penting, tertutup dengan nama-nama lain. Benar juga kalo hidup itu ga selamanya harus alur maju, kadang juga alur flashback, tapi waktu tetap jalan terus, cuma ‘emosi’ yang bikin kita ngerasa mundur.

So..this morning my ‘Nemo’ comes visiting me, I know dia juga penasaran, dan ga lebih dari itu! Gue bahkan dah melupakan dia..but I just being polite with a friend. Masih pagi baru juga 30 menit di kantor, eh my cell ringing “naughty girl” then I saw his name di layar cell gue…mmmm it’s nemo calling“halo” terus dia nanya dimana, yah di kantor dong, terus gue tanya mau kesini? Akhirnya gue pandu dia walau sempat kesasar juga..terus akhirnya gue samperin dia di mobil..begitu gue dah dekat mobilnya, dia keluar, terus salaman (though actually I like to kiss him on cheek) hehehe..

Ehh gue sempat masuk mobilnya juga siih..terus dia nunggu gue kerja, gue mesti ngetik surat dulu, terus gue ajak dia ke perpustakaan, gue tanya acaranya gimana, dia bilang janjian ama temannya di kemayoran. Gue tanya udah makan belum, katanya belum. Oke gue pilih tempat yang menurut gue nyaman, di atas kayaknya lucu juga (takor ooh takor). Kelihatannya siih dia senang banget (ciiieeeeeh) makan taoge goreng sama minum jus. Aaaah sebenarnya sih pengen berlama-lama tapi kan gue kerja.

During our conversations I don’t ask about his girlfriend or anything related to his love story, I don’t want to know!!!..we are just friend n I don’t think it’s matter for me to ask that. He said someday he wants to open "sekolah kepribadian" tapi bukan buat model..yang ini ngasih seminar-seminar to motivated people. I think di luar sana dah banyak deh seminar-seminar seperti ini! Good luck for the future!!

N i found out today, ternyata he’s not that damn good looking, but dia wangi, rapi, n nice wardrobe (a man that most of girls whish for) and he’s soft spoken. Satu lagi dia ga bisa nahan pipis (hehheehe) yang terakhir sama ama gue!Sementara gue hari ini malez pake alas bedak, malaz pake blush on..just the way Iam dengan dandanan yang minimalis, but I have a nice smile plus a good heart that’s what I think the most important thing in this world! A smile can tell many thing..can tell who you are

>>nemo is a character in cintapucino novel, which is one of my favorite novel. The novel is about a girl who obsessed with one man.

dying inside

i wanna touch you now and then make you mine till the end of my life.
i'm dying inside to wish that someday you'll be mine.
i'm afraid that one day i woke up and knowing you already tooken or i'm too late to have you.
i'm worry that i don't try harder to make you mine...
what a blue monday, wishing you are here, but in reality only me who dying inside.

this post is a picture of my heart (hati yang mengkronis)

picture of you..

..i know somebody who reads this post, will think i'm a religious girl, but this what happen to my life so far or at least yesterday. I accompanied my mom to sunday service..i have a strong wish to see "him" (can not mentioned his name yet) 'coz I dunno yet his name, though to know his name all i need just one single call to her sis!
....so long not to see him, but i dunno why i like him, i don't even know his name, his character, but i'm doing a "silent operation"...hehehehhe, my silent operation is PRAY. Then I asked to God, please let me see him once again, and let me know him. Soooo....it is shocked me 'coz after mass, when I try to look for food, God bring him right in front of me (oh my God) then I shake his hand..I really touch him, his palm!
......see.."His" plan is beautiful in time, but for those (including me) who not patient to see God working, will not understand that God need time too!!
.........Thanks God......

write our own story

"i believe we write our own story and each time we know the end we don't"

...just when I know this gonna be last..it wont..just when I predict this gonna be the end, it wont stop. Just when I hope this gonna be followed with beautiful things it turn out to be nothing..

i learn to dream and to achieve my dream, but i learn in the same time "don't hope too much" there so many factors in life that 1 + 1 many times never 2.

.....if we know nothing 'bout life..we need to raise our hand to ask God for his mercy and providance...

>> this posting is dedicate to all my friend and my future friends..if you wish to be my future friend message me at zita.henny@gmail.com have a nice day !

...THE WEDDING DATE

This post was inspired by the wedding date movie.
A friend recommended this movie..and last night I watched it. In one of the scene, the girl which is Kat realized, her ex-fiancee only a jerk that don't deserved her love, her respect at all..and it takes 7 years to understand it!
Kat trying hard to impress her family and of course her ex, by bringing an eligible bachelor home!
(hell) I've been in that position, and the only reason why I did that, I want him to respect me, and I don't want him to feel sorry and I want him to regret because he dumped me.

But I learn yesterday, the truth is he's just a jerk, he just a coward and he never learn anything..and the only reason we separated is he don't deserved to have me!

I'm so J A D E D today..

..so jaded today..the works is so boring..upss can't say that, i love my work but sometime I wanna escape from routine work!
that's all

..start my own business

..noone introduce this business, though I know it's good to make some cash money besides my salary, all I need just call my friends, my mother's friends and show them the catalogue.
can you guess what is the business? my business is selling oriflame products or in other words direct selling plus multi level marketing.
...but here, I never plan to make my own group in short periods. Then..as time goes, I have one downline, and last month in just two weeks, I make profit 17, 600 + 26, 144 rupiahs, plus 50% discount for one product and one free product with the noted, the price not more than 50,000 rupiahs.

...I want to thanks to Rosa for her patient to assist me in this business. From zero to profit!
just showing the catalogue and sell and sell..

r o m a n c i a...........romance

internet romance? it's for real?
yesterday he's so angry because I didn't replied so soon. Each day I learn something about his character, about his attitude!
knowing someone out there thinking about me makes me Happy.
Maybe I'm just curious, maybe this not gonna be a long lasting relationship but maybe we can make it if we try..
in life full of options, and full of path way to go.. i take every step with positive mind!
just wait and see...

it's time for exhale..

how many years i know the truth? how many years more i know the second truth
i don't count the time, but i'm surprised the way i found out the truth!.........
apa yang udah terjadi di belakang ga usah ditengok-tengok..it's time for me to exhale.
ternyata ooh ternyata..
dia hanya sepenggal kisah..
yang hanya untuk dilupakan..
listen to your heart..even it seems unfair..but it is very worth it

..driving a car..

my Dad allowed me to bring his car, then I drove from home to office, with parents n uncle. Thanx uncle for the lesson! it's save..and I can manage my car very well, and of course God bless me!
it's a nice..nice journey driving at 6.40 AM in Jakarta..

woowww pegel..but FUN

yesterday first day joining fitness club..it's FUN specially my first experience on fitness equipment!
I'll do it for more than one hour and yesterday I have a personal "trainer", a sweet boy with red t'shirt! hehehe..if he comes everyday, i'll go everyday too, and he said bye-bye to me when he went home. A new friendship just begins!
Tanti pick me up when the training is over, will come back again soon sweety!

my NEW ROOM and my new DREAM ho..ho..ho

saturday, 6 August 2005
Finally I made my mind, last saturday, early in morning I move to other room. Still in the same house but my new room bigger than the old one.


sunday, 7 August 2005
I want to realize my dream participated in one beauty contest, not yet happen but I make a first move, by taking close-up picture at mall. He hee..he..just see the result!!
Tanti comes visited me too in the afternoon, she asked me to pick-up her goods at ofice, she's no longer in Pasca. Just wish you all the best..my lovely friend, I miss YOU!

..a k u hari i n i..

*pagi ini ga enak badan, hidung berlendir, mata berat banget,
*perut aga mules
*rasanya dingin, padahal AC-nya cuma 28 deg C
*buka email ga ada yang menarik
*lapar..masih nunggu office boy beliin makanan
*malezz kerja
*pengennya tidur
*gejala PMS
*i wanna go home

HARI KESEL SEDUNIA..kali yeeee

sebenarnya mo nulis hari ini hari ngeselin. Eiit tapi ga boleh ngomong gini..soalnya udah banyak dikasih ama Tuhan yang indah-indah..anggap aja hari ini hari LATIHAN MEMANJANGKAN KESABARAN...

sabaaaaaaaaaaaaaar suburrrrrr!!

Friday

menikmati hidup..enjoy every minute i spent with friends and family.
I've been showing my emotions, and now just continuing my life..
though sometimes i get tired but don't wanna give up

..i don't know nothing 'bout love

i thought when i get older, i will know more bout love, i will be more experience.."love doesn't make you smart", wise men said that. so when love hit me, i'm not well prepare but do love needs a reason? do i need a reason to love someone?

the song from counting crows were so nice to listen, see the lyrics.. even this (boys) band are not prepare when love comes!!! boys said woman are feel more than think, but once they (boys) fall in love..they go mad too.

So she said what's the problem baby--What's the problem I don't know--Well maybe I'm in love (love)--Think about it every time--I think about it--Can't stop thinking 'bout it
How much longer will it take to cure this--Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love) Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love
Come on, come on --Turn a little faster--Come on, come on--The world will follow after
Come on, come on-- Cause everybody's after love
So I said I'm a snowball running-- Running down into the spring that's coming all this love Melting under blue skies--Belting out sunlight-- Shimmering love
Well baby I surrender-- To the strawberry ice cream--Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love
We're accidentally in love --Accidentally in love

..you cant stop me to love you

I think love is a beautiful feelings towards that person whom u like with whom u like spending time with whom ur looking for whose every act u like whose presence always run in ur mind and without him/her u can't live.

M : and I want to say you I have same feelings for you
M : I love you
M : It doesn’t matter for me that u love me or not
M : caz It doesn’t necessary that a person whom I love will also love me definitely
but I must tell you, u can't stop me to love you
M : u know
M : Distance doesn't matter for me
M : I have lot of gals over here in Sydney
M : but I just looking for same feelings as u have
M : I never feel in love b4
M : Even I don’t have any GF b4
M : I know u wouldn’t believe me
M : I know its just our 2nd meeting
M : but I don’t think that it matters to say someone love
M : That’s it I want to say you
M : May be u'll not talk to me anymore

I aggreed with his definition about love..sometimes love can be so complicated but many times love is so simple. I'm happy to find out there's someone out there falling in love with me..the true happiness is whoever is happy will make others happy, too

another quotation from 'M'

"first looking first talking is enough to like someone"
"sometimes we know someone in first time and sometimes we take whole life to understand someone"

YEAH..LA..LA..LA

Wednesday afternoon my boss is out of office..so I could do anything else except finishing works.
Last night got so weird dream..i'm crying a loud. Awww..I don't know what's the meaning of my dream. My friend said, usually if you cry it means you'll be 'happy' in reality, is it so??
I do hope, because when you happy you can do everything.
so now start to singing...

Hey, baby my nose is getting big/I noticed it be growing when I been telling them fibs/Now you say your trust's getting weaker/Probably coz my lies just started getting deeper/And the reason for my confession is that I learn my lesson/And I really think you have to know the truth/Because I lied and I cheated and I lied a little more/But after I did it I don't know what I did it forI admit that I have been a little immature/Fucking with your heart like I was the predator/In my book of lies I was the editor/And the author I forged my signature/And now I apologise for what I did to you/Cos what you did to me I did to you

--try to pleased my heart, because all my friends has just finished their thesis--

my lucky day..tUesDay??

hi there..you got a nice smile, as i saw your pic. Another introduction, another try. One thing in my mind I'm tired of another introduction. But remember of looking a job, you try..and try..untill u succeded..it's better to try it or you'll regreat it.
when you less expected it maybe the one you looking for..
just be optimistic